Troublemakers: Slaying Bites
by Lady Silence
Summary: complete Xander and Spike get sent back in time to Buffy's pre Sunnydale days... xover with gasp OCs of mine.
1. Prologue

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet, Simon are MINE. Got that? Good.  
  
SPOILERS: Let's see... pretty much general warning...  
  
RATING: Hmm.. It's not bad.  
  
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first please.  
  
FEEDBACK: A must, cause I yearn for attention.  
  
SUMMARY: Xander and his new best friend Spike (I'm evil..) get sent back in time to Buffy's pre Sunnydale days.  
  
AUTHORS NOTES: Let's see, A lot of things in here might not make sense... use brain power... and a lot of things were done at the request of my friend Bunny the bestest bunny lady around. So... this might get weird. This starts off in Season 4.  
  
And anything between ** are thoughts. Kay? Good.  
  
Like most of the fics I post here on Fanfiction.net, this is more then a year old... so... yeah. ________________________  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Alexander Lavelle Harris, aka Xander to all, stared at his wall in awe. He tilted his head and then frowned.  
  
"Spike..." he said to everyone's favorite bleached vamp with a chip, "What did you do to my wall?"  
  
"What did I do? I call that art." Spike said with a nod. "I call it... 'Blood bath in Sunnydale'."  
  
"All you did was throw a bottle of ketchup at the wall."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
Xander groaned. "Spike, don't you have place of your own?"  
  
"Course I do. But the bloody cable went out."  
  
"Go home Spike."  
  
Spike glared at him, "What's wrong with you? Some one kill your puppy?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Fine. Be that way you bloody white hat." The vampire said in a miffed tone. On his way out he snatched a bag of mounds bars and slammed the door as he exited. "Bloody wanker doesn't appreciate fine art."  
  
As the vampire stalked off he failed to notice he was being watched.  
  
"Ooh... Spike! God he's hot. Can we play with him too?"  
  
"We? Please, you know full well you wouldn't share."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"Oh brother. Listen up we have a job to do okay?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Let's do this." With one last hopeful glance at Spike the two figures vanished in to the Harris house.  
  
____________  
  
"What? Damn it Xander, that's the third time you've broken a date off!" Anya screamed in to the phone. "Can we at least have sex?"  
  
"Anya."  
  
"Fine!" The former demoness slammed the phone down angrily. "Jerk. Who needs him? I can get any man. Any one I want." The phone rang and Anya picked it up. "I knew you'd change your mind Xander."  
  
"I'm not Xander." A voice replied.  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"It's ok. Can I help you?"  
  
"I don't know. Can you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"So, Anya, What's your favorite scary movie?"  
  
___________________  
  
"So do we just pop in and say hi?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can we at least knock him unconscious?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Fine. You're no fun."  
  
"I rarely am."  
  
_________  
  
Xander was stretched out on his bed mourning the loss of his Mounds bars when he heard voices arguing. He grabbed a baseball bat next to his bed and stood up. "Who's there?" He groaned, "Oh that's smart. Let's repeat that."  
  
Two figures stepped out of the shadows. Both female. One had long, dark, purple hair and wore what seemed to be a Sailor Senshi uniform. She stood at least 5'8" and looked mildly bored. She leaned on against the wall her arms folded across her chest. The other young woman was about 5' 6 1/2", had dark red hair and asian features. The red head was dressed in a tight spandex body suit that made her look like she was from a comic book. She seemed to be toying with a bright pink cube. The girl kept twisting and turning it like an old rubix cube.  
  
"Who are you guys?" Xander asked. "And why are you dressed like anime characters?"  
  
"Hey, he knows anime!" The red head exclaimed, "There's hope for him yet!"  
  
The purple haired girl straightened up. "You can call me Lila."  
  
"And you can call me Scarlet."  
  
"Um... ok. What do you want?"  
  
"To send you back in time so you change things for the better." Scarlet said as she continued to fiddle with the cube. "How the hell does Mihoshi do this?"  
  
"Damn it Scarlet stop fiddling with that thing!" Lila snapped. "And you call me a space case."  
  
"You are."  
  
"Are not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Not."  
  
"Too."  
  
"Stop it!" Xander yelled. The two girls stopped arguing and looked at him sheepishly. "Why are you sending me back in time? And where?"  
  
"You'll find out when you get there. Now pick your partner." Lila said.  
  
"Partner? Buffy."  
  
Scarlet shook her head, "No can do. The Buffster, witch and watcher are off limits."  
  
".. Riley?"  
  
"Su..." Lila began.  
  
"Nope." Scarlet interrupted. "He can't go. Neither can the demon chick."  
  
"Oz?"  
  
"No." The girls chorused.  
  
"Then who can I take??" Xander shouted in exasperation.  
  
Scarlet glanced at Lila, a pleading look in her eyes. Lila sighed. "Fine. You can use him."  
  
"YES!!" Scarlet squealed and started playing with the cube. "Say goodbye to Sunnydale, Xander and hello to L.A!"  
  
Xander's jaw dropped, "What? No! Not there I..."  
  
Scarlet turned the cube once more it clicked and started to hum. The room was enveloped in a bright pink flash of light. As the trio vanished, they failed to notice the tv still blaring.  
  
"Tragedy struck Sunnydale again." A news reporter said on the screen. "A young woman was found gutted and hanging from a tree. The victim's name is being withheld until notification of relatives." 


	2. A New Day

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy  
  
___________  
  
PART 1  
  
"Xander! Alexander Lavelle Harris, you wake up this minute before you're late!"  
  
Xander opened his eyes and found himself in an unfamiliar room. The walls were white and bare. There was a desk near the door and several unpacked boxes on the floor. He sat up in bed extremely confused. As he stepped out of bed his mother walked in.  
  
Jennifer Harris strolled over to the set of windows across the room and pulled the blue curtains open. His mother turned around looking radiant. Which was disturbing to Xander. She was dressed in a pale white sundress and an apron, her dark hair pulled back in a french braid. She smiled serenely and walked over to Xander's closet.  
  
"Let's see. We want you to look good for you're first day of school." His mother said as she pulled out a green dress shirt. She tossed it on to the bed. "That will look good."  
  
"Mom??" Xander asked in bewilderment.  
  
Mrs. Harris turned around, "Oh. I'm sorry honey. I know this move was hard on you. Separating from Willow and Jesse like that." She sat next to him on the bed, "But it's only temporary. This new job of your father's has him so excited. I haven't seen him this happy in years! Now get dressed and come down for breakfast." She stood up and left the room. Jennifer paused in the hallway. "And make sure your cousin is ready to go too."  
  
Xander began to get dressed his thoughts going crazy. *Okay. I'm in the past. Bad. Dad and mom are happy. Good. Jesse is still alive. Good. I'm still in high school. Bad. Very bad.* He walked over to the mirror and grinned. "Mom has good taste. Who knew?" He grabbed a backpack that was on his desk and walked out the door. He came to a screeching halt at the stairs. "What cousin?" _______  
  
Lila frowned. "Come out of the closet already."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Do it! If you don't come out willingly, I'm going to drag you out myself."  
  
"Fine! It won't be my fault when I burst into bloody flames then."  
  
The bedroom door opened and Xander walked in. He groaned as he spotted Lila. This time the girl was wearing a school uniform. "Nice sailor suit." He said mildly. "You're not my 'cousin' are you?"  
  
Lila shook her head. "No. He's in there." She stormed over to the closet and ripped the doors open. She reached in and dragged out a bitching Spike.  
  
"Spike???"  
  
Spike broke free of Lila and tried to pull himself together. "Yeah it's Spike. I..." He groaned as he realized he was talking to Xander. "Not you. Bloody hell."  
  
"You have to be kidding me." Xander said. "He's playing my 'cousin'??"  
  
Spike glared at him. "What? I'm not good enough for the job? I. hey... I'm not a ball of flame."  
  
Lila pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "Duh. See while you're in the past, we've made you immune to those vampire weaknesses. You still have to deal with the chip though. Scarlet did fiddle with that. She made it so you're allowed to hit humans if they deserve it."  
  
"I still want to know what's going on." Xander whined.  
  
The purple haired girl shrugged. "You can do what you want. You'll see what's going on soon enough. The only condition is the two of you have to play friends along the way."  
  
"You have to be kidding!" Spike yelled.  
  
"Fraid not. See you two later." Lila said with a grin. She pressed a button on her watch and vanished.  
  
Spike and Xander starred at each other in horror.  
  
"BOYS!!! BREAKFAST!!" 


	3. School Daze

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are MINE. Kay?  
  
_____________  
  
PART 2  
  
Hemery High. The place where, if you're good looking you're popular. And if you aren't... well. you get to hate those who are. Xander and Spike were standing in front of the school's front doors.  
  
"I can't believe I'm stuck with you." Xander said.  
  
"I can't believe I have to go to school." The vampire groaned. Spike pulled a cigarette out of his leather jacket. As he put it in his mouth a hand snatched it from him. "Bloody hell. You wanker I..." He stopped. "Well hello there."  
  
Scarlet smiled at him. She tossed the cigarette into a nearby trashcan with ease. Today the girl was wearing black leather pants, a green crop top and a white leather jacket. "Hello, Xander."  
  
"Scarlet."  
  
Spike glanced at her, "Wait a second. You're the other little girl who sent us back here?"  
  
"You know handsome," She said ignoring the little girl comment, "Smoking is bad for you."  
  
"For you... I'll quit." Spike said slyly. "So what's a lovely piece of perfection doing here?"  
  
"I'm going to school here too." Scarlet rolled her eyes and pouted, "I got the short straw." Her face brightened suddenly. "Spike, want to go to the utility closet and make out?"  
  
"Lead on lovely."  
  
As they left Xander standing alone, Xander shouted, "That's my line you know!" He shook his head and walked up the front steps. He stepped through the doors and suddenly found himself in that old familiar place of dread that haunted him for four years.  
  
High school. Unpopularity. Dating. Homework.  
  
Xander let out a small moan of despair. He scanned the crowd of students and his jaw dropped. A vision had came walking down the hall with her entourage.  
  
"So then Jeffery was like 'Well babe, I'm the man'." Buffy Summers explained to her four lackeys.  
  
A dark haired girl next to her gasped, "That's so heinous!"  
  
"Macho much?" A white blonde girl gagged.  
  
"You should totally dump Jeffery." A short girl with brown curly hair advised her.  
  
Buffy glared, "Puh-leaze, Jen. You just want him for yourself." Buffy shook her head. "Besides if I dump the best looking guy in school, what's that say about me?" She stopped in front of a locker. "My stop. Laters."  
  
She waved at her friends as they all split into different directions. Buffy opened her locker (which was already decorated with pictures of her and a handsome looking jock) and glanced in the mirror hanging on the door. "Perfect." She slammed the door shut and turned around, only to bump in to an oncoming group of seniors. Her purse fell to the floor, its contents spilling out. "Damn it!"  
  
Xander, who'd been watching Buffy like a hawk, ran over to help her. "Let me help."  
  
Buffy glanced at him warily then nodded. "Ok." As they picked up the scattered makeup and random accessories, Buffy noticed Xander staring at her. She placed the last item in her bag. "Must you stare at me like that?"  
  
"Sorry." Xander apologized. *She's Cordelia. Good god.*  
  
"Fine. Thanks." Buffy said. She stood up. "Do I know you?"  
  
"Me? No. I'm new here."  
  
"Oh. Nice ensemble by the way. I'm Buffy Summers." She flashed him a smile. "You?"  
  
"Alexander Harris. Everyone calls me Xander though."  
  
"Xander? I like that." Buffy started to walk away. "See you around Xander."  
  
*Okay... maybe she's not as evil as Cordy.* Xander thought. He sighed and began the long search for his locker.  
  
As he disappeared into the halls of Hemery High the senior that bumped into Buffy watched with a look of amusement.  
  
"And the fun begins." Lila said with a grin. She took a step forward and tripped over her own bag, which was on the floor. The meddler crashed to the tiles with a thud. "Owie"  
  
_________________  
  
Ms. Rachel Wallace was one of the most feared teachers in all of Hemery High. She was only forty-six and had a full head of gray hair that she always wore in a tight bun that never had a loose strand. She wore tortoise shell glasses and had a wardrobe that seemed to have been taken from the closets of Mr. Rogers and June Cleaver.  
  
Unfortunetly, her disposition was nothing like them. She was cold, forceful and hated teenagers. Ms. Wallace was the evil queen of Hemery and had yet to be dethroned.  
  
Of course now she was dealing with the king of bad.  
  
"William."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and ignored her. Hearing a giggle, Spike flashed a quick glance at his new lab partner Scarlet. He smirked.  
  
The biology teacher placed her hands on the lab table and leaned forward. She stared at Spike intently. "I asked a question, William."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I expect an answer."  
  
"You shouldn't."  
  
The class snickered. One glare from Ms. Wallace shut them up. She hadn't been the most feared teacher of all for nothing. There was no way she was going to let a little punk from Britain take her down. Ms. Wallace turned back to Spike.  
  
"Detention."  
  
Spike shrugged. "Bite me." He leaned toward her. "Better yet, I'll bite you."  
  
Scarlet burst out laughing and the rest of the class quickly followed suit.  
  
The bitter old woman blinked her eyes, completely awestruck by the punk's comment. She stood up straight and smiled evilly. "Well Mr. Ashbrook, it looks like you've managed to find an excuse to meet the principal. On the first day of school no less. I want you out of my sight." She turned her gaze to the rest of the class. "As for the rest of you, pop quiz."  
  
Shrugging, Spike left the classroom of groaning students. He walked down the hall only to see a very familiar face. He sneered. "Slayer."  
  
Buffy stood up from the water fountain and strolled past Spike with out even a glance.  
  
Watching her walk away the vampire prepared to follow her. He took one step forward and was suddenly dragged into a nearby classroom. Spike grinned as he realized what happened.  
  
"I'll take you up on that bite offer." Scarlet said with a smile.  
  
___________________  
  
"I don't believe this." Lila muttered as she picked at her lunch. "How many times are they going to make out?" She flipped her purple hair over her shoulder and sighed. Taking another glance at her tray in disgust she picked it up and headed for the trash cans.  
  
She didn't make it.  
  
Before Lila knew what was happening she found herself tripping over someone's outstretched foot. The lunch tray went flying and landed on a nearby cheerleader. The cheerleader shrieked and ran off crying, the substance known as mystery meat dripping down her face.  
  
Lila groaned and picked herself up from the floor as the cafeteria laughed at the incident.  
  
"Way to go, Grueller!"  
  
She turned around to see a table of jocks laughing wildly. The tall dark haired boy that had spoken was giving a high five to a slightly shorter guy with dark blonde hair. Lila's eyes narrowed and she stalked over to the table. Before the jocks knew what was happening, Lila pulled the chair out from under Grueller. He landed on the floor hard and the cafeteria went silent.  
  
Lila picked up a near by soda and poured it on Grueller's head. "You neanderthalic, small sized, little piss ant."  
  
"Hey!" He shouted at her as he got up. "You little. You'll pay for that."  
  
"What are you going to do? Beat her up?" Xander taunted as he came out of  
  
nowhere and stood beside Lila. "Oh that's real macho. Let's beat up a girl."  
  
Grueller glared at Xander. "You stay out of this punk."  
  
"Hey... Calm down Grueller." One of the jocks said.  
  
"Shut up Andy." Grueller snapped. He turned back to Xander and Lila. "No one humiliates me. No one."  
  
Lila rolled her eyes. "Only because you do it so well on your own. I've seen you play ball."  
  
Xander snickered, "Good one." One by one the rest of the lunchroom broke in to laughter.  
  
Grueller stared at the crowd in horror and stepped back. "You are so dead." He said and fled the room.  
  
Xander whispered to Lila, "He's going to kill us isn't he."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Oh? Good. How do you know?"  
  
"He'll be dead in two days." 


	4. A Bit of Buffy Bonding

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are MINE. All righty?  
  
_____________  
  
PART 3  
  
Buffy lifted her pom-pom in the air and gave it a final shake. On her cue the rest of the cheerleaders followed her back to the sidelines. Buffy shook her head excitedly and turned to a cheerleader next to her. "This is such a rush, Nicole!"  
  
Nicole blinked at her, her long lashes making her look extra dramatic, "Like, Buffy, this is just practice."  
  
"Who cares? We lead this year." Buffy grinned, "I think that gives me a right to be totally perky."  
  
Shaking her head with a smile Nicole began to retie a shoe, "You are just so buzzy today, girl. What's the sitch?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "Nothing." Buffy looked across the gym and spotted a familiar face sitting on the bleachers. "Hey, who's that guy?"  
  
Jennifer bounded over next to Buffy, "Him? He's like in my chem class or whatever that class is. He's William. He's cute."  
  
There was a rude snort behind them. The three turned around to see Kimberly sipping a soda and rolling her eyes, "If you like the lazy leather, 80's outlook by all means Jen, go for it."  
  
"Not him." Buffy said. "I mean the one next to him. The guy in the silk shirt."  
  
Nicole grinned, "Spotting silk from over here? Buffy is our own Wonder Woman."  
  
"Har har." Buffy smiled at her. "You're so not funny. So anybody know him? I don't remember seeing him last year."  
  
"Why do you care?" Kimberly asked, "Scoping for a replacement for the great Jeffery?"  
  
Jen looked up hopefully, "Are you dumping Jeffery?"  
  
"No!" Buffy said. "Of course not! It's just that the new guy helped me out this morning. I was curious is all."  
  
"Well all I know is that he's the Billy Idol clone's cousin." Nicole said with a shrug.  
  
"I heard he bit Wallace." Kimberly said.  
  
"Xander?" Buffy screeched.  
  
Kimberly looked at Buffy funny, "Whose Xander? I was talking about the blonde in a bottle."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Kimberly checked her watch, "Can we go now? I'm bored. I want to shop."  
  
"Fine." Nicole muttered, "But I'm going straight home first. No way I'm touching those lockers until they are totally cleansed." She turned to Buffy, "You coming?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "Can't. The authority figures want me at home before five."  
  
"Uh! You can't even get a pair shoes in that little time frame!" Jen gasped in shock.  
  
"I know. You guys go on though. Have fun."  
  
_________________  
  
"You want to talk to her."  
  
Xander sighed. Cheerleading practice was over and he and Spike had been watching Buffy. "She wouldn't talk to me."  
  
"You've been watching her since yesterday." Spike rolled his eyes, "Hell. If you don't go over, I will."  
  
"You wouldn't." Xander said.  
  
"Want to bet?" Spike grinned, "And I can make it ever so humiliating..."  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"I know. Now go play nice. I have a date."  
  
"Scarlet?"  
  
"Of course. She's a tiger mate. She makes learning fun."  
  
Xander watched as the vampire whistled happily as he strolled away. He stood up and turned to go in the opposite direction and found him staring into a pair of very beautiful blue eyes.  
  
"Hi, Xander."  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Buffy smiled at him, "You seemed surprised to see me."  
  
"I am. Not that I'm not glad or anything... I just... Hi." He replied nervously.  
  
Buffy giggled, "You're not very smooth are you." She sat down and stared at as if waiting for him to join her. Naturally he obliged. She leaned back and continued, "So Xander, where are you from?"  
  
"Sunnydale."  
  
"Oh? My mom went there once. Some art thing. She seemed to like it. What's it like?"  
  
Xander smiled nervously, "It's um... hell."  
  
"Ha! That bad?"  
  
"Yeah... If you don't mind me asking, why are you so interested in me? I mean you seem to walk with the popular crowd."  
  
Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment, "To be honest I don't know. It just seems like I should know you. Kinda like fate and all that." She stood up suddenly. "Hey, want to see a movie with me?"  
  
"Me? With you? Now? I just heard you blow your friends off though."  
  
She shrugged, "I didn't feel like dealing with Kimberly's bitch mode. So what do you say?"  
  
"Definitely!"  
  
____________________  
  
Somewhere in L.A. after dark..  
  
Lila gave her car a swift kick. "Stupid thing. I don't believe this crap!" She pulled out her cell phone only to drop it on the ground. It shattered into pieces and Lila fell to her knees wailing.  
  
"Why me!!!!!" She cried out. Lila slowly picked up the pieces and failed to notice the footsteps behind her.  
  
"You need some help girl?"  
  
Lila spun around to see a very undead guy behind her. The vampire grinned at her and lunged. She rolled to the side and as she hopped to her feet, her watch began to glow. The glow spread over her entire body and when it faded she was wearing red leggings and a low cut white dress that was slit at the sides. As she stood up straight, a jacket with puffy sleeves, that was black on one side and orange on the other, appeared on her.  
  
Lila placed a hand on her chin and feigned a look of shock. "Oh dear. A vampire! What ever will I do?"  
  
The vampire shook his head at what just happened, "I don't know what the hell you are but our master will want you. Boys!"  
  
A group of vampires joined the party. The leader pointed, "Get her."  
  
"Have to catch me first!" Lila cried out. She leaped high into the air and landed neatly on a nearby streetlight. She held her hand out and a bright orange beam of light appeared in her hand. Lila grabbed the end of it and it straightened into an energy sword. She pointed the sword at the vampires, "Party time!"  
  
She faded away only to appear right behind the leader. She swung her sword and lopped his head off. The other vampires stared at her in horror. Lila grinned at them and ran a hand through her purple hair. "Next?"  
  
They ran and Lila sighed. The sword vanished and she aimed her hand palm up at the retreating corpses. Balls of light shot from her hand and hit the beasties with small explosions. Debris flew everywhere and bounced off the force field around Lila.  
  
When the smoke cleared Lila was left standing alone on a very torn up street with several piles of dust. She coughed as her clothes faded back to normal. "Don't mess with a mimic." The girl walked back to her car and tripped on a fallen pipe. "DAMN IT!!"  
  
_________________  
  
"Oh that was fun." Buffy said as she and Xander exited the theater. "In fact this whole thing was fun."  
  
"Really?" Xander asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "Yeah! I've never had a real guy friend, ya know?"  
  
Xander hid his disappointment, "Uh. yeah. That's me. Xander shaped friend." He sighed inwardly but smiled, "So what do you want to do now?"  
  
"Now? Now... I have to really get home before my parents decide they actually care I'm gone." She headed for the bus stop and waved at Xander, "I'll see you tomorrow!"  
  
"You're going to ride public transit?" He asked in a fake shock.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Yeah. Don't tell. It'll ruin my rep."  
  
Xander watched the bus leave with a wary sigh. He turned around to see a familiar face behind him. "Gah!!! Damn it! What is it with people sneaking up on me?!"  
  
Scarlet blinked at him in confusion, "Huh?"  
  
"Never mind. So what are you doing here?"  
  
The redhead shrugged, "Spike went off to look for some food, and I'm tired. I spotted you here so I thought I'd say hi. Need a ride?"  
  
"You have a car?"  
  
"If you can call it that. I prefer to call it a trash compactor." Scarlet pulled out a tootsie pop and tore off the wrapper. She waved it at Xander, "Want a ride or not?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
____________  
  
Riley Finn was walking down the street to his aunt's house when a black junk heap of a car came barreling at him. He barely felt the impact as he flew into the air and into a nearby garbage truck. (Hey... does it matter how it got there or why?)  
  
Xander looked up from the radio he'd been toying with. "Did we hit something?"  
  
Scarlet shrugged, "Naa. Just some useless garbage. So how was your date?"  
  
"It wasn't a date." Xander muttered. He changed the subject, "When does Buffy find out about her slaying?"  
  
"Um. I think in a day or two. I know tomorrow she meets Pike and all that. That reminds me, Lila wants the four of us to go out tomorrow night. So?"  
  
"Why not. I don't know anyone else." Xander looked back on to the road. "I could have sworn we hit something..." 


	5. Mini Movie Moments

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon, MINE. Mhm.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 4  
  
"Like I'm ever going to Spain any way." Buffy was saying as she and her friends rode the escalator. As soon as they reached the top, something caught Buffy's eye. "Ooh!" She ran into the nearby boutique and grabbed a bright yellow leather jacket. "This is so lush! Wouldn't you just love me in this?"  
  
"Guys what's the sitch? I'm bored." Kimberly complained as they caught up with Buffy.  
  
*You're always bored.* Buffy thought to herself. Aloud she said, "What do you think?"  
  
As Jen smiled and began nodding her head, Kimberly just rolled her eyes in disdain. "Please. That's so five minutes ago."  
  
Hearing that, Jen shook her head and mimicked Kimberly, "Yeah."  
  
The others walked away and Buffy followed, looking back at the jacket longingly. They left the store and Kimberly opened her mouth again.  
  
"So, what are we doing?"  
  
"Movie?" Buffy suggested, brightening a bit.  
  
"Well, where?"  
  
Jennifer shrugged, "Omniplex?"  
  
"No THX." Buffy said.  
  
"Ugh," Nicole gagged, "They don't even have Dolby!"  
  
"Beverly Center."  
  
"They show previews for foreign movies."  
  
"AMC?" Nicole asked.  
  
In agreement for once, Buffy and Kimberly shook their heads. "Bogus corn." Buffy said.  
  
"Totally stale," Kimberly agreed. "And the ushers are, like, the acne patrol."  
  
Nicole sighed, "Pavilion. Sitch?"  
  
"Sounds toasty." Buffy said. "We're going to Pavilion."  
  
Jen nodded, "Excellent."  
  
"As long as we don't see Bordello of Blood. I saw that already." Buffy said as they entered the elevator. She pressed the button closed and before the door shut a figure held it open.  
  
He was tall and probably in his forties or fifties and he wore a shabbily treated suit under an old brown trench coat. He stared at Buffy his eyes aware of every little thing. The man let go of the door and Buffy glared.  
  
"Excuse much. Rude or anything?" She said and pressed the button again. As the door closed her friends began giggling.  
  
"Nice ensemble!" Kimberly muttered sarcastically.  
  
Nicole giggled again, "What a homeless!"  
  
_______________  
  
"And your parents are going away the whole weekend?" Nicole asked.  
  
"That's the plan." Buffy said as she nibbled on a piece of red licorice. The four girls had been sitting in the theater talking so much that Buffy realized she didn't even know the time.  
  
Jen took a sip of her soda, "Ugh. Your parents are always going out for the weekend. You're so lucky."  
  
Buffy muttered, "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"Will you shut up?"  
  
The girls spun around to see Spike and Scarlet making out behind them. Next to them were two boys staring at them. One was tall and kind of cute in a disheveled way, and the other was slightly shorter with a hawkish nose and all in black.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "It could happen."  
  
The taller one spoke up, "Boo!"  
  
"Buzz!" The shorter one screeched.  
  
"It's the lochness monster!"  
  
"Like, take a chill lozenge!" Nicole huffed.  
  
Kimberly snorted, "Yeah, like we don't have rights too."  
  
"Ignore them." Buffy said as the group began to giggle, "Just ignore them."  
  
"I don't believe this!" Shorty replied, "We paid good money to see this!"  
  
The tall one hissed at his friend, "No we didn't."  
  
"Oh yeah." Shorty said. But I still want to know what happens."  
  
Spike finally looked up with a low growl, "Bloody hell. Everyone dies. The bimbo with the nightie kicks the monsters ass..."  
  
"In a totally unrealistic way, seeing how the monster killed everyone else and survived a few explosions." Scarlet chimed in.  
  
"Only it's not really dead." Spike finished. "Happy? Now shut up!"  
  
The girls just stared at him.  
  
"Really?" Jen asked.  
  
"Probably." Buffy said. Her eyes had wandered to a nearby face near the back. She smiled to herself as she saw Xander and some girl pelting the boys with popcorn and gummi bears. "What movie is this again?"  
  
_______________  
  
Xander and Lila walked out of the theater in time to see Buffy's boyfriend drive away. Xander watched Buffy wave at Jeffery with a wistful sigh.  
  
Lila followed her time hopping victim's gaze. She blinked and nudged Xander. "Hey. We're here in the past. Make a move!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Geez." Lila said, "Are you that dense? She's staring at you right now. Smile at her."  
  
Xander smiled as he was ordered to, and Buffy came bounding over. Her friends just stared in shock at her.  
  
"Hey Xander." She said brightly. "Nice leather jacket."  
  
"Uh... thanks." He said nervously, "Lila here picked it out."  
  
Buffy glanced at Lila and a millisecond of jealousy flickered across her face, unnoticeable to everyone but Lila. "Hi. I recognize you. You're the girl who humiliated Grueller."  
  
"That would be me. I love to make an impression." Lila said with a wry grin.  
  
Buffy smiled mildly, "Hey, he got his." She turned to Xander, "What are you doing tomorrow?"  
  
"Me?" He squeaked out, "Uh... nothing. I'm completely free."  
  
"Not any more." Buffy said. "After practice you can come with me to the museum. I have to make sure this thing mom ordered shows up." She glanced at her friends who were whispering and peeking stares at her. "I better go. I'll see you tomorrow!"  
  
As Buffy bounded away, Lila watched Xander stare after her. She left Xander on the steps and headed for the street, only to run straight into a disheveled looking guy with brown hair and a look of a drug addict.  
  
"Ahh!" Lila shouted as he stumbled away from her. She glared at the hat wearing fellow next to him, and pointed, "Keep night of the living undead away from me whistle boy!"  
  
Whistler blinked at her in confusion, "Do I know you?"  
  
"Uh... no." Lila grabbed Xander, who had finally decided to come down the steps. She dragged him off to a nearby junky jeep, the same color as her hair. She shoved him into the vehicle and hurried to the driver's side.  
  
"What's your problem?" Xander asked as he rubbed his arm, "Ow... I think you dislocated my arm."  
  
"You wimp. Didn't you recognize those two?"  
  
"Where?" He craned his neck to see and his eyes widened, "Hey that's dead boy!"  
  
"Duh. This was back when he first started stalking her." Lila said as they pulled onto the street.  
  
"Can we stake him?"  
  
"No. He does save a few lives ya know. So no."  
  
"Damn it! Please?"  
  
"No. But I'll let you beat him up next time we see him."  
  
"Cool." Xander said. "Hey, we forgot something."  
  
Lila blinked in confusion and realized they were short two passengers. "Oops."  
  
___________  
  
Scarlet and Spike didn't even notice their ride had left. In fact they pretty much forgot that they came with any one else. Walking down the street they heard a blood-curdling scream from the nearby carousal.  
  
"Is that. violence I hear? Blessed violence?" Spike asked hopefully.  
  
Scarlet shrugged, "Beats me. Let's go look."  
  
The couple rushed over to the carousal to see a short, brainy looking vampire mauling the one and only Grueller. After a quick look around, Scarlet noticed a leather clad vampire with dingy brown hair that reached his shoulders. A look of annoyance crossed the vampire's face briefly, but quickly gave way to a grin.  
  
"William the Bloody!!" The vampire cried out from his perch on a carousal horse.  
  
Spike grinned back, "Bloody hell, Amilyn! It's been ages! Still working for Lothos?"  
  
Amilyn strode over to the couple, "All you can eat and free traveling. It's a great ride." He looked Scarlet over. "Ooh. take out?" He reached out to her and Scarlet did an inhuman leap away.  
  
"Don't touch me!" She screeched at him.  
  
"You always did like them feisty, Spike." Amilyn said with a shake of his head. "Care to share in the pretty find?"  
  
"That's my girl you're talking about eating!" Spike said.  
  
"Really? Dating breathers now? How low have you sunk? And what ever happened to Dru..." There was a sudden crack as Spike's fist hit Amilyn's face. The vampire stumbled back in shock and covered his nose. "By dose!" He hobbled away and waved at the brainy vampire, "Kill him!"  
  
Four eyes dropped Grueller's limp form and ran at Spike. He was within five feet of the blonde when he stopped dead in his tracks. He stared behind Spike at the sight ahead.  
  
The other two vampires followed his gaze. Behind Spike stood Scarlet and she was wearing an elaborately decorated white tunic with long wide sleeves. Across her chest was an ornate cross. The vampires all stepped back instinctively. In one hand she held a flowing red gymnastics ribbon. In her other hand was a small wooden pin, which she flicked at the fledgling vampire.  
  
The vampire shrieked and fell to his knees in pain. With one last shriek he turned into dust and the pin clattered to the pavement. Without a look back, Amilyn ran away as fast as he could.  
  
Spike just stared at her his mouth open in horror. "What did..."  
  
"It's a gift." Scarlet squealed with a gleeful giggle. 


	6. Graveyards Are A Great Way To Meet New F...

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon, MINE. Mhm.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 5  
  
"Don't tread on the earth?" Buffy said as she gazed up the bleachers to stare at Xander. He waved at her from his spot at the top and she beamed.  
  
Nicole just stared at Jennifer dumbly. "I don't get it."  
  
Buffy turned her attention back to her friends, "How do you not tread on the earth? I mean you kinda have to."  
  
Jen's face fell and she shrugged. "Yeah... I guess I never thought of that."  
  
"I gotta bail." Nicole said and looked around the semi-deserted gym. "You coming?"  
  
"Do you have date with Jeffery?" Jen asked casually.  
  
"Jealous?" Buffy teased. She shook her head at her friend's uncomfortable laugh. "No. I'm hanging out with Xander." Buffy said.  
  
"Xander's nice." Nicole said blandly.  
  
"He's sweet. And funny. And cute." Buffy said defensivly.  
  
Nicole merely shrugged and her and Jen left the gym. "See you later Buffy."  
  
Buffy glanced around the now empty gym and wondered where Xander had wandered off to. She shrugged and began a small routine. As her adrenaline pumped up, she ran toward the middle of the court and jumped, flying into an amazing series of gymnastics flips and cartwheels. As she finished one last flip she landed on her feet and look up.  
  
She gasped. *The mall guy! Ew!* Buffy jumped back in shock, "God! Do you like stalking people or what?" *I can't believe he's wearing the same clothes! Gross! At least get a new jacket. Ugh...*  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, his British accent clipped and formal, "That was impressive. The tumbling."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, "That? Oh. I used to do gymnastics. Are you looking for someone?"  
  
"I'm looking for you actually."  
  
"Me? Am I in trouble?" Buffy rocked on her feet and tried to look innocent, "Cause if I am, I didn't do it."  
  
"Not at all. My name is Merrick. I was sent to find you some time ago, but there were complications. You should have been taught, prepared."  
  
Not enjoying where this was going Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I've been searching the world for you Buffy."  
  
"Stalker much?"  
  
"I've come to bring you. your birthright."  
  
"My what?" She asked, more confused than ever, "Is that like a trust fund?"  
  
Merrick stared at her as she rambled on.  
  
"I had a trust fund from my great-grandfather, or maybe it was inheritance, 'cause he's dead, and I spent it on shoes."  
  
"You must come with me." Merrick said. "It's much too late already. You must come with me to the graveyard."  
  
"My birthright," Buffy said slowly, "Is in the graveyard? Ugh. Not even!"  
  
"Wait!"  
  
"You're one of those dirty old men who get their kicks by scaring gorgeous young women aren't you." She held her head up high and snorted, "Forget you. My boyfriend's going to be back here in like thirty seconds and he's totally protective."  
  
"You don't understand," Merrick tried to explain, "You have been chosen."  
  
"To go to the graveyard? Why don't you take the first runner up?"  
  
"You must believe me. You must come with me while there is still time."  
  
"Time for what? For you to get a mental health check?"  
  
"To stop the killing." Merrick said flatly. "To stop the vampires."  
  
Buffy's mouth opened in surprise. She stared at him a moment and let out a laugh. "Let me get this straight. You're like, this girl stalking bum, and I have to go to the graveyard with you cause I'm chosen and there's vampires."  
  
"Exactly!" Merrick said.  
  
"Does Elvis talk to you? Do you see spots?"  
  
"But."  
  
"I'm so out of here."  
  
"Do you ever dream you were someone else?" He called out to her.  
  
Buffy froze.  
  
________________  
  
"Why can't I go over and help her out?" Xander asked Lila as they stood out in the hall.  
  
"Because she has to talk to Merrick alone."  
  
"Yeah but."  
  
"No okay? It's bad enough Scarlet already 'accidentally' put the kibosh on Riley, which sucks because I thought he was a hottie from heaven." She pointed a finger at Xander, "I've got a date tonight with Andy so I want you to behave."  
  
Xander sighed as she walked away. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Spike and Scarlet. "This sucks."  
  
Spike grinned, "I say party without her mate."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Follow Buffy to the graveyard." Scarlet said. "Play the hero when you see the chance. Duh."  
  
Xander nodded slowly. "Yeah. that could work! I'll see you guys later!" He cried out and ran off.  
  
"So what do you want to do pet?" Spike asked.  
  
"I hear one of the local english teachers is a she-mantis." Scarlet said with a grin. "Want to go trash her?"  
  
"Violence and blood are the ways to my heart."  
  
"You too?"  
  
_______________  
  
The sun had just fallen away from it perch in the sky and Buffy was finding herself sitting next to a tombstone while waiting for Robert Berman to 'wake up'.  
  
"I can't believe I let you drag me to your den of mental illness." Buffy whined. "I'd rather be studying." She toyed with the cross and stake in her hands and sighed. *I missed hanging with Xander for this? How stupid am I?*  
  
One second later all hell broke loose. Before Buffy knew what was happening the late Robert Berman had just burst from his grave and was now wrestling with Merrick.  
  
Buffy stood up and gripped her stake tightly. A pair of arms shot out of the ground and grabbed for the girl's ankles. With a shriek Buffy jumped and fell to the ground. She watched in terror as a young woman crawled from her grave. Her face deformed, the dead woman growled with a fanged toothy smile.  
  
At Buffy's shriek Merrick looked up. Robby, the undead partier, took that moment and threw Merrick off of him. Merrick found himself on the ground and his stake nowhere near him.  
  
Buffy kicked at the female vampire furiously. The vampiress hissed and crawled closer to Buffy. In sheer panic, the cheerleader grabbed her cross and held it in front of her. The vampire stopped short and growled.  
  
"Bad puppy." Buffy said nervously. She lowered her cross a brief second and the vampire lunged at her with incredible speed. Before the vampire could react Buffy kneed her in the stomach and smashed the stake through her chest. With one last look, the girl turned to dust.  
  
Meanwhile, Merrick and Robert were still struggling. Robert picked Merrick up with a sneer, and prepared to bite.  
  
A stake exploded through the front of his chest, driven clear through his back. As he fell into a pile of dust Xander grinned at Merrick and waved the stake around.  
  
"I lived in Sunnydale." He said to Merrick's dumbfounded look. Xander turned to see Buffy rushing toward him.  
  
"Xander!" She cried out and grabbed him in a bear hug. "They're vampires! Real and." She looked up suddenly. "Did you follow us?"  
  
Xander let out a sheepish grin, and he let loose his excuse he'd thought up. "Yeah. I saw you leave with a strange guy and I thought I'd see if everything was okay."  
  
She hugged him fiercely again. "I'm so glad you did." 


	7. After School Activities

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are MINE. Yep.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 6  
  
Buffy walked into her front door with a tired sigh. *Vampires. I can't believe it. And Xander.. he didn't even look surprised. What is going on?*  
  
"Do you know what time it is?"  
  
Buffy pushed her thoughts away, to see her mother glaring at her. She swallowed nervously, "Um... Around ten?"  
  
Joyce sighed. "Go upstairs. We'll talk in the morning."  
  
As Buffy started upstairs she could hear the beginnings of yet another argument between her parents. She shut her bedroom door and tossed her jacket onto the floor. Throwing herself onto her bed, Buffy closed her eyes and wished the world away and that no more nightmares would come.  
  
__________________  
  
The next morning wasn't much better. Buffy found herself being lectured about the joys of curfew by her mother one minute and then missing her ride to school the next.  
  
Buffy dragged herself down the building's halls wearily. As she wandered she noticed Gary Murray the school guidance counselor tapping his watch. Buffy knew she was late for class but frankly she didn't care today. Continuing her slow march, she bumped into Nicole.  
  
"Hey, Buffers. You look thrashed."  
  
"Gee. Thanks." Buffy said.  
  
"You and Xander have fun last night?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Jeffrey's raging."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The rest of us were at Café Blasé and Jen blurted out how you were with Xander."  
  
Buffy groaned, "Oh you have to be kidding me! This is all I need. Thanks for telling me"  
  
Nicole pat her friend on the back in comfort, "Hey, what am I here for? I'll see you at practice."  
  
Nicole walked away and left Buffy standing in the hallway.  
  
"Buff!"  
  
She turned around to see Xander sprinting toward her. Her face lit up on instinct. "Xander!"  
  
Xander stopped himself in front of her, "Hey. Are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah. It's... a bit much to deal with." The two of them began walking down the hall again, "Question."  
  
"Fire away."  
  
"You didn't look surprised at what you did to that... vampire. Why?"  
  
"That's a long story."  
  
"I've got time."  
  
"After school?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "Practice. After?"  
  
"Ok. I'll wait in the library." Xander agreed with a grin, "I miss book filled places."  
  
_______________  
  
The old church was damp and dark and not a spec of natural light could be seen through the boarded up windows. Broken furniture and trash cluttered the former house of god and a rancid stench filled the place. Lila and Scarlet couldn't help but gag.  
  
"Gross." Scarlet said. "What are we doing here again?"  
  
Lila grinned, "Random acts of violence." Bright light filled the room as she transformed. The light grew brighter as Scarlet quickly followed suit.  
  
The light faded and Lila was dressed in a pair of jeans, black t-shirt, black jacket and a pair of ordinary Nikes with a blue swish on them. In her hand was a Browning Hi-Power 9mm.  
  
Scarlet raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What are you today? You look. wimpy."  
  
"Well not all of us can be such trendsetters like you." Lila snapped.  
  
Scarlet did a little spin. She was clad in a red spandex costume with thigh high gold boots and a matching belt. A golden bird decorated the front of the costume. "I know. I kick ass and look good doing it." She waved her hand around the building. "So we get to tear down a condemned church?"  
  
"No." Lila said. She pointed her gun in the air and fired. A few moments passed and nothing happened.  
  
". Oh this is so fun." Scarlet moaned, "I skipped Spike for this?"  
  
Lila's face brightened and she pointed, "No. That."  
  
Scarlet turned around to see a dozen or so vampires growling at the girls in annoyance and anger. "Too bad Spike isn't here to see this..." Scarlet's jaw dropped open and her voice trailed off.  
  
"What's wrong?" Lila asked. The girl followed her friend's gaze to see a very familiar pair of faces.  
  
Spike and Drusilla.  
  
"Oops." Lila squeaked out.  
  
____________________  
  
By the time Buffy showed up for practice, the rest of the squad was suited up. Buffy opened her locker with a tired sigh.  
  
"Are you sure you should practice?" Nicole asked. "You don't look much better."  
  
"I'm feeling fine." Buffy insisted.  
  
Nicole shrugged, "Okay. See you out there."  
  
The girls left the room and Buffy shoved her light jacket into the locker. She turned around to see Merrick standing at the end of the lockers, staring at her.  
  
Startled, Buffy jumped back. "What are you doing here?" She screeched. "This is a naked place."  
  
"You were supposed to be at the warehouse twenty minutes ago." Merrick said evenly.  
  
"I told you, I have practice."  
  
"And I told you-"  
  
"Look." Buffy slammed her locker shut and stared at him. "I think there's been a big mistake here. I mean, I appreciate that there are real live vampires, and you have a big holy mission and all that, but somewhere along the way you read your tea leaves wrong, 'cause I'm so not your girl. I'm not up to this, and just between us," She paused and gave him a meaningful look, "you don't think so either."  
  
Merrick was silent as he let that sink in.  
  
"It's true." He slowly agreed. "You're not what I expected."  
  
"See?"  
  
"Certainly, you're unprepared-"  
  
"Don't I know it."  
  
"Untrained, clumsy, without a doubt the most vacuous candidate in my entire- "  
  
"Okay!" Buffy cut him off. "I think we both get the picture."  
  
Merrick nodded, "Quite. Then there's nothing more for us to discuss."  
  
"Not unless you want to seek help for your teenage girl fetish." Buffy muttered. She watched as Merrick headed for the door. "Good luck and all." She added lamely.  
  
"Oh there is. one thing."  
  
"What?"  
  
With blinding speed, Merrick hurled a knife straight at her head. Before Buffy could blink, she had caught the blade, only a few inches from her face.  
  
Buffy froze, her face a look of horror.  
  
Merrick clapped his hands together. "Bravo."  
  
"You." She began slowly. "Threw a knife. at my head."  
  
"I had to test you." He tried to explain.  
  
"But you threw a knife at my head!"  
  
"And you caught it!" He insisted cheerfully. "Only the chosen one could have done that!"  
  
"Don't you get it?" Buffy wailed. She pointed the knife at him, forcing him to back away from her. "I don't want to be the chosen one. I don't want to spend the rest of my life chasing after vampires. I just want to graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry a rich, not to mention famous, guy, and die! It may not sound like much to a scone-head like you but I think its swell. And then you come along. and. and I'm suddenly the chosen one for you to throw things at me!"  
  
Merrick held out his hands, and tried to console her. "It was necessary."  
  
She glared at him furiously. "Last night," Buffy began slowly. "You knew I was sitting on a fresh grave."  
  
Merrick stepped back again, "Yes. I don't think you understand the full implications of..."  
  
Buffy swung her fist at him so fast that Merrick didn't have a chance to react. He went flying a few feet, landing on his back, his nose bleeding profusely.  
  
Buffy stared at him, a look of awe on her face, "Wow. I didn't even break a nail!"  
  
______________  
  
On the way out, Buffy insisted that they swing by and pick up Xander from the library. Xander didn't seem to shocked to see both of them and went along with a shrug.  
  
While sitting in the warehouse Buffy couldn't hide the look of disdain on her face. "Eww."  
  
The building had been long abandoned and was now old, gray and extremely dusty. The windows were covered in layers of grime but sunlight still managed to filter in, revealing crates, mannequins and old cardboard boxes littered everywhere.  
  
"I've never actually hit any one before." Buffy said to break the silence.  
  
Merrick held a handkerchief to his nose, "You're priddy good ad it." He folded the cloth and stuck it in his pocket. Gingerly he touched his tender nose. "You must never underestimate yourself, Buffy. You've got abilities you have only begun to tap. Reserves of mental and physical prowess you've never dreamt of."  
  
Xander lifted the lid of a small crate, "Don't suppose you have the Pergamum Codex."  
  
"What?" Merrick asked. "How do you know about that?"  
  
"Sunnydale." Xander said with a shrug. Finding nothing of interest in the crate he replaced the lid.  
  
Buffy hopped onto a nearby table. "You mentioned that before like it meant something. Why?"  
  
Xander walked over to Buffy and joined her on the table. "See, Sunnydale is a hellmouth. It's like center point for demons, vampires and all that."  
  
"Is that what you were going to tell me?"  
  
"Pretty much." Xander said.  
  
"Sunnydale. It is one of the most dangerous places." Merrick began. "There is a vampire known as..."  
  
"The Master. He's still locked away in the tunnels underneath town." Xander picked up a nearby crucifix. "You mind if I join in on the training?"  
  
"That's highly unorthodox." Merrick said. He took a good look at Xander's resolute face. "It's very serious. Are you willing to risk you're life for this?"  
  
"Can't let my Buff do this alone." Xander said.  
  
Buffy smiled gratefully at him. 


	8. Buffy's New Routine

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are still MINE.  
  
NOTE: Apparently, I didn't realize these versions of my fic didn't hold this note.. *growl* Must have been the old ones I sent out on the B/X mailing list years ago.. feh. Anyway, stupid me for not paying attention.  
  
Yes a lot of the dialogue was taken from the original movie, AND the book adaptation. I think I might have used a couple scenes from the comic too, but I can't remember. I don't claim that stuff as mine. Hell no. lol. I'm not completely insane. Lol  
  
_____________  
  
PART 7  
  
Scarlet pounded on the door in fury. "I can't believe he didn't tell me this."  
  
"Maybe he forgot?" Lila asked helpfully.  
  
"Yeah. And maybe you're not a klutz."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
The door to the house swung open and Mr. Harris stood there. "Can I help you? Oh, it's you two. How are you?"  
  
"We're fine." Scarlet said sweetly. "Is William home?"  
  
"He's in his room. Go on up."  
  
Scarlet hopped passed him and rushed up the stairs. "Thanks Mr. Harris!"  
  
Lila sighed and stepped into the house, "Sorry about coming without notice, Sir."  
  
"It's Friday. I'll let you two off easy." He said good-naturedly. "Xander isn't here by the way."  
  
"Why would I be looking for him?" Lila asked.  
  
"Aren't you a couple?"  
  
Lila's did a double take. "What?! We are so not a couple."  
  
"You're not?"  
  
Mrs. Harris stepped into the room with basket of laundry, "No dear. Xander likes that Buffy girl."  
  
"There's a girl named Buffy?" Xander's dad said in confusion. "I think I'm lost."  
  
His wife smiled at him sweetly. "It's okay. I'll fill you in later."  
  
Lila slowly worked her way upstairs, "Ok, I'll be upstairs with Scarlet and Sp...er William. Later!"  
  
"Honey. Where is our son anyway?"  
  
_________________  
  
"Kick!"  
  
"Ugh! I. Am!"  
  
"Higher!"  
  
"This is as high as I can go!"  
  
"Aww come on Buff, show some more of that cheerleader talent."  
  
Buffy stopped kicking at Merrick and spun around toward Xander. She pointed at him, "Keep it up Harris and I'll use you as a target."  
  
Xander put on his most innocent face, "Would you do that to me?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
As Buffy resumed her training she asked, "Am I the only one?"  
  
Merrick lowered his hands and motioned for her to kick a nearby dummy. "There are other girls. All over the world, who are different, who have the potential to become slayers. But only one is chosen."  
  
"Bleh. You mean it's like winning a raffle. Only the prize is major suckage." She turned to Xander again, "Ya think there are any famous vampires?"  
  
"Dracula?" Xander asked. "Maybe him and The Master double dated?"  
  
Buffy giggled. Merrick sighed. "Have you ever heard of the Emperor Caligula."  
  
Xander shook his head, "Sorry. I think I failed that class on rulers who had no impact on me personally whatsoever."  
  
". or Jack the Ripper?" The watcher continued on.  
  
"They were vamps?" Buffy asked.  
  
"The same one actually."  
  
"He sure does get around." Xander said.  
  
"He did. Until a slayer by the name of Nagisa Mayato got to him." Merrick said.  
  
"Cool." Buffy said. "What happened to her?"  
  
"A vampire by the name of William the Bloody killed her. Strangely enough, he never did find out she was a slayer."  
  
Xander's face went pale and he buried his nose in the nearest book.  
  
______________  
  
"Why the hell didn't you tell us you were here in L.A this time of year?!" Scarlet asked.  
  
Spike flipped through a magazine as he stretched out on his bed, "I forgot okay?"  
  
"Great." Lila says. "We have to extra careful because not only do we have two Spikes we have Drusilla too."  
  
"Dru?!" Spike shot up. "Dru is here?"  
  
"What do you care? She's with your past self." Scarlet glared, "Drusilla is mentioned and I'm not good enough for you now?"  
  
"Aww come on pet. I'm sorry. It was just reflex." Spike apologized. "It won't happen again."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I promise. How about I take you to a demon filled bar for some reckless mayhem tonight to make up for it?"  
  
"Okay!" Scarlet agreed happily. She flashed a coy smile. "Then. I'll show you what other things we mimics can do with our powers..."  
  
Lila rolled her eyes and left the room. "Oh brother. Time to go before they make me sick. Ugh."  
  
She let herself out of the house and walked down the street in bitter silence. As she turned the corner there was a circular portal of light appeared and a group of teenagers wearing black and yellow spandex stepped out. A girl with long blonde hair took a look around. "Huh."  
  
"Ah don't think this is the school, Illyana." Said a tall, lanky boy with a Kentucky accent.  
  
A red haired girl in the back shook her head, "Then where are we?"  
  
The blonde girl, who seemed to be Illyana, sighed. "You. Where are we?"  
  
Lila blinked. "Los Angeles. 1996. And you're in the wrong reality."  
  
Illyana looked surprised, "How would you know?"  
  
"Trust me. I jump realms enough to know."  
  
"Damn it. We're trying to see our future selves."  
  
"Oh then you need to take the eighth disk not the seventh." Lila said helpfully.  
  
"Yeah?" Illyana nodded in thought. "Figures. Thanks again."  
  
Lila shrugged. "No problem. Good luck."  
  
The teenagers stared at each other and a Native American girl shrugged, "Does anyone know what they're talking about?"  
  
"Not a clue." Replied the Kentucky boy.  
  
Illyana opened another portal. "Okay back in. Come on people!"  
  
As they left, Lila sighed. "Mutants. Sheesh."  
  
______________  
  
The days went by and Buffy found herself absorbed in her training. She realized cheerleading practice was nothing compared to Merrick's training. While vampires plagued the town and preyed on people, Buffy and Xander trained. And trained. And did some more training.  
  
Surprisingly the only thing keeping the vampire population in control were Scarlet, Spike and Lila's little maiming missions. Of course Buffy and Merrick didn't know that and Xander wasn't about to share that he was living with Spike.  
  
Of course being late for school was now a trend with Buffy. Gary Murray was always watching Buffy trailing along the hallways, and she knew he was keeping tabs on her arrivals.  
  
Then there were her friends. Buffy found herself more distracted than ever. She talked to Nicole when she could, but she could tell her friend was getting worried now. And Jeffrey. Buffy could see the hurt, or was it annoyance, on his face when she was in a rush to leave after school. She was ready to drop, but three things kept her going; Merrick, her urge to actually beat Merrick and not be beaten by an easy little trip, and Xander.  
  
Buffy wasn't sure why he was so insistent on helping. She was glad he did though. When she was ready to quit, he'd say something to give her hope or inspire her to work harder.  
  
"There's just something about him." She muttered.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
The slayer shook her head from her daze. She smiled nervously at the priest in front of her. "Nothing. I don't mean to be a nuisance, Father, but."  
  
"Yes my child?" The priest asked.  
  
"Can you bless these?" Buffy asked and held up a six-pack of Perrier.  
  
_______________  
  
"Lothos was born in the eleventh or twelfth century. He has been difficult to trace and his powers have increased with age. It will be a long time before you're ready for him." Merrick said.  
  
"Mhm." Buffy said. She wrote something in her notebook and slid it to Xander who stifled a laugh.  
  
Merrick continued, "Lothos is extremely powerful, but he is still a vampire, and thus vulnerable to the same weaknesses. Daylight is still his enemy and the stake can still find his heart."  
  
"Okay." The students said in unison.  
  
"I have huge antlers growing out of my buttocks."  
  
"Uh huh. Sure thing." Buffy said. She slid back from the table instinctively as a stake impaled the notebook. "HEY!!"  
  
"GAH!" Xander cried out and fell on the floor. "Try to kill a poor guy why don't you!"  
  
"Try to pay attention." Merrick sighed.  
  
It was then that Buffy and Xander realized that Merrick never ran out of things to say.  
  
"He's the energizer bunny." Xander said to Buffy at lunch the next day.  
  
"I know." Buffy agreed. "He just goes on, and on, and on."  
  
"I think he likes to hear himself talk." Xander said. He stopped as he spotted her friends. "Oh there's your groupies."  
  
"They aren't that bad." Buffy insisted. "Really."  
  
"Yeah? Well your boyfriend looks ready to pound me into a ball of silly putty."  
  
Buffy frowned, "He does look ticked. I'll see you after school okay?"  
  
"As always. I still have some body parts that aren't bruised."  
  
Buffy laughed and ran to her friends, leaving Xander in the cafeteria doorway.  
  
With a wistful glance at Buffy, Xander headed for his usual table with his 'gang'.  
  
"Hey Xander." Scarlet greeted.  
  
Spike let loose a wide grin, "Hello mate. How are you today?"  
  
"Okay, who are you and what have you done to everyone's favorite vampire?" Xander asked.  
  
Lila tossed Xander a package of Twinkies as he sat down. "Nothing. Him and Scarlet were playing in the locker room again."  
  
"Don't they ever stop?"  
  
"Nope. It makes me sick."  
  
"Only because you don't have a boy toy of your own." Scarlet said as she trailed a finger along Spikes chest.  
  
Lila gagged. "Good god. Get a room!"  
  
Xander nodded in agreement, "Yes please. I'll even pay if need be."  
  
"Pet, I think there's something wrong with Zeppo boy."  
  
Scarlet turned to Xander, "So? Tell. What's up?"  
  
"Twenty bucks says it's the slayer." Spike said.  
  
"When isn't it her?" Scarlet muttered.  
  
Lila threw a crumpled napkin at her friend. "Oh hush. The poor boy needs help. Now share Xander."  
  
Xander waved a hand at Buffy's table. "Look at her. She's so happy. And."  
  
"You aren't part of that?" Lila asked.  
  
"Yeah. I mean she's got Jeffrey. Who needs me?"  
  
Spike shrugged, "Bloody hell, you can take him. You're training to take on vampires. I say knock him off. Better yet, get him turned then stake him!"  
  
"That's cruel!" Xander cried out.  
  
"Point being?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Lila perked up suddenly. "Hey I have an idea!" She poked Xander in the arm, "How about we go and find Angel tonight and have a little bash?"  
  
"Oh Angelus?" Spike looked up, "Can I come?"  
  
"No." Lila said. "Just me and Xander. You two have no compassion for Xander's love troubles so you can't go."  
  
Scarlet and Spike pouted. "Aww no fair!"  
  
"Tough." Lila turned back to Xander. "You up for it?"  
  
Xander nodded. "Of course!" 


	9. The Mimic, The Zeppo, & Too Much Free Ti...

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are mine.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
PART 8  
  
Lila sat in the Harris living room impatiently. She checked her watch for the fifth time just as the front door swung open and Xander walked in. "It's about time." She said. "I have fifteen minutes to show you how to do this before we head out."  
  
"Sorry I'm late. Merrick is a slave dri..wha?" Xander paused in confusion. "Do what?"  
  
"Mimic of course!" Lila said as if it were obvious.  
  
"Mimic. Like you and Scarlet? But I thought it was just your skills."  
  
"It is, but I have a trick I figured out." Lila replied. She held up her hand and posed.  
  
Xander grabbed her wrist, "Wait a second! My parents.."  
  
"Are at the movies." Lila finished. "Now let me continue."  
  
As Xander stepped away from her, ribbons of pale blue light streaked from the floor surrounding Lila. The ribbons enveloped her completely, giving her a mummified look. A second after the light faded, the ribbons burst into a shimmering shower of glitter.  
  
Lila stood straight and poised, one arm across her waist the other at her side, she wore a shimmering white medieval gown. An aura of pale silver light surrounded her body and her purple hair was now pure ebony. Lila opened her eyes and Xander realized they had changed too. Instead of her violet blue irises her eyes were a blazing bright blue.  
  
"What the heck are you?"  
  
"At the moment, I'm in my natural form." Lila said, her voice almost echoing off the walls. "We mimics look more or less like this naturally. By mimicking so much we evolve into what we want." She walked over to Xander held out her hand. "Take my hand and concentrate on what you want to be."  
  
"Just like that?" Xander asked.  
  
Lila grinned sheepishly, "Well it's easy for you. It's harder on me. But I can do it. Now just concentrate on who you want to mimic. Ok?"  
  
Xander nodded slowly and took her hand. Lila closed her eyes in concentration and her silver aura slowly spread to Xander.  
  
_____________________  
  
It was a clear night, the air crisp and pure.  
  
If one didn't count the smog.  
  
The street was dark and noiseless. Not even a rat was seen. In an alley nearby, a vampire tossed a now drained husk of a man away from him. He sat up from his corner in the alley as he heard footsteps. Taking refuge in the shadows he waited.  
  
A teenage girl walked the street alone. "Brr. Sure is cold. Nice night for a walk. Alone."  
  
The vampire cursed as the body across from him slid into the garbage cans. The girl looked over curiously and the creature couldn't believe his luck as the girl turned to the alley in curiosity.  
  
"Feelings. La la la.. feelings." The girl sang. "Boy, am I helpless."  
  
As she reached the dead end, he stepped out of his hiding place. She shrugged and turned around to see him thirty feet in front of her.  
  
"Um. Hi." She said nervously. She took a step back.  
  
The vampire moved a step toward her.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
He let out a growl and sped toward her. The girl spun around and kicked him in the chest sending him flying against a dumpster. As he got to his feet, a foot slammed into his chin as she kicked him again. Thoroughly dazed now, the vampire didn't even register the stake driven in his chest.  
  
Buffy squealed as the dust fell, "Yes! Toaster-caked him!"  
  
A click of a stopwatch was heard as Merrick stepped into the alley. He gave her a 'look'.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
__________  
  
"I can't believe you chose that."  
  
"Come on. This is great! You know you want to join me."  
  
"I'll pass."  
  
"Then how are you going to keep up?"  
  
Lila leapt off the skyscraper she and Xander were on and flew into the air. Her hair was purple once more and she wore her red leggings and low cut dress. She spun in the air, her puffy sleeved, two-color jacket rustling in the breeze, with a giggle. "Who needs to keep up when I can teleport and fly?"  
  
Xander shook his head, "Ryoko. Figures. You have an obsession with anime."  
  
"They have the best subjects for mimicking though." Lila pouted. She flew on ahead. "Come, my now super powered friend. We must beat up vampires and annoying creatures of dark doing!"  
  
"I'm coming I'm coming!"  
  
_________  
  
At that moment Buffy and Merrick were walking to his car. A shadow flew over the young slayer's head and she looked up. Her jaw dropped and her stake clattered to the pavement.  
  
Merrick stared at her in worry. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Since when does Spider-Man work in L.A?" Buffy replied.  
  
_________________  
  
Xander swung on his new webbing in total bliss. He let go of it as he flew toward another building, and with an agile flip he landed on the rooftop with ease. He turned around as he heard clapping.  
  
Lila appeared from thin air in front of him clapping her hands in amusement. "Having fun?"  
  
"Are you nuts??" Xander asked. "This is fantastic! I can't believe you get to do this anytime you want!"  
  
"It's really fun when you actually get some action going!" Lila said. She floated over to Xander leaned closer to him. "Now come, come. Angel boy needs our help."  
  
"He needs our help? Why should we help him?"  
  
"Because my silly friend." Lila began, "He may not deserve it to you, but he IS needed."  
  
"I don't see how."  
  
"Angel Investigations of course. He's destined to do the powers that be's will."  
  
Xander shook his head bitterly. "In other words I can't do anything to really help Buffy."  
  
"I didn't say that." Lila disagreed. "Already you've changed things. See she was supposed to fall for Pike who'd end up leaving. But now, Pike is out of the picture."  
  
"Like she's going to fall for me. Ha."  
  
Lila floated to the ground and walked over to him. "Xander, Xander, Xander. Don't you know anything? She already is infatuated by you."  
  
Xander laughed. "I wish."  
  
"Trust me! See you two were destined to meet. Then you started to help her. You've been by her side through this whole thing. She'll recognize you for the great hottie within and without that you are." Lila's face brightened with a grin. "And when you two get married I expect to be a bridesmaid." She punched him in the arm playfully. Naturally he dodged.  
  
Lila fell over flat on her face.  
  
She let out a muffled "Ow." Then Xander burst out laughing. She pushed herself off the ground and frowned. "I'm glad my pain amuses you."  
  
"Me too!" He gasped between breaths. With a shake of his head he forced himself to calm down. "Come on. Let's go save dead boy."  
  
___________  
  
Angel hit the wall with a crash. He groaned as he tried to get back up. "Whistler, I could use a little help."  
  
"So could I." Whistler snapped as he dodged a punch. He promptly tripped over an empty cardboard box. He fell to the pavement and onto his back.  
  
"What are they fighting?" Xander asked as he and Lila watched from above. He was clinging to the wall and she sat cross-legged in the air next to him. "I don't see anything."  
  
A puzzled look was on Lila's face. "I have no clue. See he wasn't supposed to have gotten into any." Lila's eyes grew wide as Angel and Whistler's attackers came into view. "Uh oh."  
  
The attackers were two tall looking young men in black Armani suits. They looked exactly alike with short blonde hair and were of bishounen quality.  
  
"What uh oh?" Xander asked. "You know them?"  
  
"Not them. Him. He's a demon. He's using some kind of power to duplicate himself. He's a Trinity demon. Cheesy name no?" Without another word Lila flew at Angel's attacker and they flew into a condemned building next door.  
  
Xander sighed and shot a batch of webbing at mimic number two.  
  
Blondie spun around covered in webs. "What the? Who the hell are you?"  
  
Swinging from the building, Xander answered him with a kick to the chest. "I'm not a clone. I know that much."  
  
Blondie stumbled back and fell into the wall. As he hit the wall he vanished into a shower or neon green sparks. Xander watched in confusion.  
  
"Hey thanks." Whistler said as he walked over Xander. "Spiderman huh? Not bad." Whistler motioned over to Angel, who was moving slowly towards them. "Say thanks to the superhero."  
  
Before Angel could open his mouth Xander punched him and sent the vampire flying back into the wall. Leaving Whistler and Angel behind, Xander headed towards the building where Lila had crashed into.  
  
Whistler shook his head. "And here I thought I was the only one who wanted to do that."  
  
___________  
  
Lila swung her light sword at the demon with a snarl, "Stupid demons. You're nothing but a waste of.. woulff!!" Lila crumpled to the floor as she slipped on a wound up chain.  
  
As she fell over the Trinity demon took the opportunity to escape. Running for a way out, he found himself standing a few feet away from Spiderman.  
  
"You have to be kidding me!" He sighed. The demon held out his arms in surrender. "I give up already."  
  
Xander stared at him in shock from beneath his mask. *He's giving up. Sure. And my spider sense isn't working.* He leapt into the air avoiding a duplicate's punch and landed behind the original demon. Crouching down, Xander knocked him over with a leg sweep and finished him off by covering him in webbing. Xander couldn't help but smile to him self as the dupe ran off. Before he could chase after him though, Lila appeared in front of him and the demon stopped short.  
  
Lila was now wearing a simple brown leather outfit that looked almost Native American in style. In her hand was a crystal staff giving off a blue glow. Lila swung the staff at the duplicate and watched as he screamed out in pain as the staff connected to his chest.  
  
Blue, crackling energy spread over the demon with and soon he was nothing more than a pile of ash. Lila stamped her foot in triumph.  
  
"Lila," Xander began, "I hate to ruin you're moment of happiness but what about multiple man here?"  
  
Lila shrugged and tossed the staff at Xander, who caught it with ease. "Use it. Just touch him with it. It knows evil and stuff." As Xander followed her orders the girl kicked at the pile of ash.  
  
"Next time I'm digging out some big guns." 


	10. Casualties

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet, and Simon are MINE.  
  
Oh, and last part, Lila's mimic? The one with a staff? Goldmoon from the Dragonlance Chronicles series by Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 9  
  
"So they found Cassandra's body out by the railway tunnels." Jen said.  
  
The school was buzzing with the news of Cassandra's death. Buffy was already feeling horrible at the fact she couldn't save someone she knew and know she was walking and listening to half baked rumors.  
  
Jen gave the group a knowing look. "I heard that the police think she was involved in something. Illegal. Like dealing."  
  
Kimberly snorted. "Well, I hope so."  
  
"Probably was." Jen looked thoughtful. "What do you think she was doing out there?"  
  
"Dying," Buffy said shortly.  
  
As they drifted down the hall they ran into Jeffery and Andy who were in deep conversation.  
  
"They're having memorial services or something tomorrow," Andy told Jeffery. "You going?"  
  
Jeffery shrugged. "I don't know. Coach said I have to work on my abs."  
  
As the girls walked by Buffy couldn't help but frown at Jeffery's indifferent comment.  
  
*What a jerk,* She thought. *I can't believe I'm still dating him now.*  
  
And then Andy chose that moment to grab her from behind. "Got to get me some!" He said.  
  
The next thing he knew was that he was flipped into the air by Buffy and slammed against the lockers.  
  
"Whoa, whoa!" Andy conceded, struggling to free himself from the cheerleader's grasp. "I'm sorry! I don't really need any right now!"  
  
"Don't grab me okay?" Buffy backed off, watching as Andy hurried out of her reach.  
  
"Absolutely." Andy promised. "I see now the error of my mistake."  
  
"Yeah. Keep you're hands off my woman. I'll pop you one." Jeffery turned to Buffy with a cavalier smile. "Did he scare you?"  
  
He slipped his arm around her shoulder and she shook it off.  
  
"I can take of myself."  
  
"So I noticed." Jeffery muttered. "Easy to take care of your self when you have another guy on the side."  
  
"Excuse me?" Buffy asked.  
  
Jeffery glared. "Oh come on. Don't even deny it. Everyone knows you're. never mind."  
  
Buffy's eyes narrowed in anger. "I'm what? You can't possibly think I'm cheating on you."  
  
"Well look at the evidence. You blow off our dates, cheerleading practice, and dance committee to head off with that new guy."  
  
"You have no clue what's going on." Buffy cried out. "Weird things are going on and you guys are all stuck in your selfish little mind frames and lemming ways that you don't notice anything!"  
  
Kimberly stared daggers at Buffy. "Lemmings? Great way to talk about your friends."  
  
"Oh please. Like you actually care about anyone besides yourself Kimberly."  
  
"Well I hope you enjoy the new boy toy, Buffy, because that's all you'll have." Kimberly retorted and flounced off with Jen following close behind.  
  
Jeffery shrugged and walked away. "You blew it big."  
  
Buffy glanced at Nicole. "Nic."  
  
"Later for it." Nicole snapped and huffed off.  
  
Andy stood there with Buffy in silence. He pat her on the shoulder cautiously as if trying to comfort her. She looked at him gratefully.  
  
"You don't hate me?"  
  
Andy shook his head. "We practically grew up together, Buffy. I saw this coming way back. I'll see you later okay?"  
  
Buffy nodded and watched as Andy followed the others.  
  
________________  
  
That night.  
  
"Bloody hell."  
  
"Shut up and carry him!"  
  
"Who died and made you god?"  
  
"Carry him for me, Spike? Please?"  
  
"You know I can't turn you down, pet."  
  
Lila rolled her eyes. She pointed at the limp form of Pike now in Spike's arms. "Okay, we saved him so Buffy doesn't have to. Now what?"  
  
"I get to eat him." Spike said, a twinge of hope in his voice.  
  
Scarlet giggled, "Sorry. As much as I'd love to let you. Lila wouldn't let me live it down if I allowed it."  
  
"Damn straight I wouldn't." Lila snapped.  
  
Spike glared. "What the hell is your problem?" He shoved Pike into the jeep and turned around. "You've been a real bitch tonight."  
  
"I have not!"  
  
"Have so!"  
  
"Take it back!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Shut up!" Scarlet screamed. "Lila, Spike's right. You've been real edgy lately."  
  
"It's nothing... It's. damn it already! Stop torturing me I'll tell you!"  
  
Spike blinked hopefully. "Torture? Ooh! Where??"  
  
Scarlet frowned. "Not now, Spike honey. What did you do Lila?"  
  
"I kinda. ImimicedXanderandnowIthinksomethingwentwrong!"" Lila said quickly. "I know I shouldn't have but I'm sorrysorrysorry!!!"  
  
"You what?" Scarlet asked.  
  
Lila sighed. "I mimicked Xander."  
  
"You can do that?" The vampire asked with interest.  
  
"I can at least."  
  
"Lila, I can't believe you! The council is going to have a fit if they find out!"  
  
"I know I know!"  
  
"What are we going to do with you now?" Scarlet smirked warily.  
  
"Nothing. I'll take Pike with me and you can go in the jeep." With that said, Lila grabbed hold of Pike and teleported away.  
  
_______________  
  
Buffy fell to the ground hard. She rolled away as a foot came within inches of crushing her head. "Grueller! What did they do to you?"  
  
The now vamped out Grueller snarled. "They killed me."  
  
"Gee, you think so?" She asked as she hopped to her feet. The odds were against her four vampires and one slayer. Buffy groaned inwardly.  
  
"Lothos walks tonight. This is his kingdom!" Grueller said.  
  
"Do I care? Hey!!" Buffy shrieked as two of the vampires grabbed her arms. She struggled against them as her former friend started toward her.  
  
Grueller flashed a smile of fangs at Buffy. "You know, I've always wanted you."  
  
"And killing me is just such a great way to prove it." Buffy snapped. She flinched as Grueller reached out for her.  
  
Then a stake slammed into him from behind. As the ashes scattered to the ground Xander shrugged and punched one of the vampires holding Buffy. "Whatever happened to flowers and Twinkies?"  
  
Buffy smiled as she flipped the other vampire onto the ground. She grabbed her fallen stake and finished him off. "Twinkies?"  
  
"Only the choice sugary sweet for the sweet." Xander commented as Buffy spun around to stake the last vampire.  
  
"Oh really? When do I get my Twinkie?" Buffy asked. Her smile faded and she looked as if someone had hit her. Buffy's gaze passed behind Xander. "Xander."  
  
Across the barely lit park Merrick was facing off against a tall, elegant looking man in a blood red cloak.  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
_________  
  
"Lothos." Merrick sneered.  
  
Lothos's handsome face looked peaceful. "Such a beautiful night. The dark is so thick with life, like soil. like blood."  
  
"Did you really think you could hide her from me, Merrick?" Lothos growled. "That I wouldn't know there was a new slayer? Another pathetic bitch waiting for me to suck on her clotted heart?"  
  
Merrick pulled out a cross from his pocket. Holding towards the master he replied, "This one may surprise you. She's not like the others. She doesn't play our way. I don't think she even knows how strong she is."  
  
"Such drooling sentiment from a watcher? I'm all aglow. Surely she's not that special. Particularly if she was raised," Lothos waved a hand, "here."  
  
"Merrick!!"  
  
Without turning, Merrick screamed at his charge, "Get away from here girl! You aren't ready for this!"  
  
Lothos watched Buffy in amusement. "Well, well. All this for me?"  
  
"Girl, for once in your life," Merrick said as he pulled a revolver from inside his coat. He fired at the distracted vampire, "Do! As you! Are told!"  
  
Xander pulled Buffy away from them just as Scarlet and Spike pulled up in Lila's jeep. "Come on, Buff!"  
  
"You insult me with that?!" Roared Lothos.  
  
"Just a distraction." Merrick replied. "You'll not have this one. Not this time."  
  
"I have her face! And after I make you one of mine, you'll beg to give me her name."  
  
The jeep pulled away and Buffy looked back to see Lothos grin at her. She shuddered. Her eyes widened in terror.  
  
Merrick pointed the gun at himself. "Not in this life."  
  
"Exactly my poi- No! You won't cheat me of this!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
As the gunshot faded, Buffy leaned against Xander, tears streaming down her face. "No." 


	11. Honesty Is The Best Policy

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are MINE.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 10  
  
The morning light filtered through the dirty windows of the warehouse as Buffy packed things away aimlessly.  
  
She could see Merrick's personal belongings in the corner. Wandering over to the crate she began to rummage around slowly. Letters from England.. maps.. newspaper clippings.. a battered looking passport.. which had an extremely unflattering picture on it that made Buffy's lips twitch a bit. As she looked through the crate she picked up a small wooden cross. It was rough, and old but it was intricately carved.  
  
"Umm.. our father, who art in heaven.. ahh.. hallowed be thy name. Kingdom come.. daily bread-I don't know!" Buffy cried out. Her hands tightened around the small cross.  
  
"I'm supposed to say something," She said and lowered her head. "But you're just dead. So totally dead. And I don't know what to do. You were the one who.. I don't know if the training was over.. I don't even know if I passed!"  
  
"How could you be so stupid!! What am I going to do without you?"  
  
Placing the cross on top of the box, Buffy brushed away her tears with the back of her hand.  
  
"Amen."  
  
________________  
  
Xander slammed his locker shut. "You haven't seen her at all then?"  
  
Lila shook her head. "Nope. I even went by the warehouse. I think I just missed her."  
  
"Sorry." Spike said as he toyed with a strand of Scarlet's hair. "We checked every dark.. secluded corner."  
  
"I'll bet." Xander muttered.  
  
"She'll be okay." Scarlet said.  
  
"Pet's right. She went through this before. It's not like she'll turn up dead."  
  
"You aren't helping." Xander snapped.  
  
Spike snarled at him, "Bloody hell! I'm here aren't I? I've helped when I need to! So stop your bitching, mate!"  
  
Scarlet smiled sweetly. "I love it when you say that."  
  
"Bloody hell?"  
  
"Oh! Yes! Let's skip lunch!"  
  
Lila groaned as the couple strolled off. "Next time I do this, I'm not letting her bring along one of her obsessions."  
  
Xander sighed, "Keep an eye out for Buffy, okay?"  
  
"I will. Not coming for lunch?"  
  
"No. I'm going to look around some more." He replied.  
  
Lila nodded. "Okay." She opened her backpack and pulled out a lunch sack. "Here. Take this for the road. I'll risk lunch land."  
  
Xander opened the sack and a wry grin spread on his face as he saw its contents. "Twinkies and Ho-Hos! Lila you're a girl after my own tastes."  
  
"Didn't you know?" Lila asked jokingly. "We're twins separated at birth!"  
  
"Ha!" Xander chuckled and walked away. "Thanks, Lila."  
  
"Any time Xander." Lila said. She turned to head to the cafeteria and ran into someone. "Hey! I.." Her voice trailed off as she recognized a very familiar face.  
  
Standing in front of her was a handsome young man with stylishly cut, red hair that slightly flipped over the right side of his face. His sparkling green eyes were both amused and annoyed.  
  
"Simon!" Lila squeaked out. "Um.. Nice to see you! I'm late. Gotta go!"  
  
Simon frowned at her and Lila knew immediately she wasn't going to get away. She smiled nervously. "Would you believe it was an accident?"  
  
_________________  
  
"Maybe she was commando girl in a previous life." Kimberly snorted. "All she-manly and she can't get over now."  
  
Jen giggled, "Or maybe she's just a bi-polar, paranoid, manic depressive psycho looney, whose only recourse now is prozac or a bullet to the head."  
  
Kimberly laughed, "Jen has a mean streak! Let that bitch within out!" She tossed Jen a roll of streamers, "I don't know what her problem is but she is in urgent need of a reality house call."  
  
Nicole's eyes narrowed in anger. She was miffed at the way Buffy was acting lately too, but it didn't give the shrew sisters the right to talk about Buffy like she was lower than dirt. Before she could speak up the gym doors swung open.  
  
Buffy walked in. "Hey guys." She greeted tiredly.  
  
"Speak of the she devil." Kimberly whispered. "You were supposed to be here at three."  
  
"I had things to do."  
  
"Well go back and do them again." Jen snapped at her. "We don't need you here."  
  
Buffy was dumbfounded. "Jen.."  
  
"Don't Jen me. After what you said to us the other day, I don't see why you're talking to us 'lemmings'."  
  
"I wanted to explain-"  
  
Kimberly held up her hand. " No way. We don't give a damn. We've had it with your thing from another tax-bracket ways. Consider your self discarded like last month's handbag." She stared at Buffy with an evil smirk.  
  
As Buffy closed her eyes and exited the gym with out a word, Nicole's gaze followed her sadly.  
  
________________  
  
Buffy stared at the afternoon sky, her spirits as low as they could get. She sighed and leaned against the tree she was sitting under.  
  
"There you are!"  
  
"Hi, Xander." Buffy said without looking at him. "Have a seat."  
  
"I've been looking for you all day." Xander said as he settled down next to her. "Avoiding me?"  
  
"Not you. Everything in general."  
  
"Want to talk about it?" Xander asked.  
  
"No. I want to forget about it." Buffy answered. "All of it. I want nothing to do with any of this!"  
  
"Buff. You can't just drop everything. I mean you're the slayer. You have a responsibility.."  
  
"Screw it! I couldn't even save Merrick! How the hell am I supposed to save everyone else?" Buffy stared at Xander her eyes brimming with tears. "What happens if I can't save your friends? Or when I can't save you? Or even me? I don't want this responsibility!"  
  
Xander pulled her into a comforting hug. "I know. But you do have it. It's not fair but at least you aren't alone. You have me you know."  
  
Buffy looked up at him and she nodded slowly. "I know, but I don't want to see you get hurt.."  
  
"I'd face the end of the world by your side even if you ordered me not to, Buffy."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Because you're my hero." Xander pulled away from her and stood up. Still holding on to her hand he pulled Buffy to her feet. "I've got an idea that could perk things up."  
  
"And what's that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You, me, the dance Saturday night." Xander smiled at her hopefully. "What do you say?"  
  
A smile spread across Buffy's face. "I say I'll have to go shopping then."  
  
"Shopping?"  
  
Buffy and Xander spun around to see Nicole.  
  
"That Scarlet girl said you were over here." Nicole explained quietly.  
  
"What is it, Nic?" Buffy asked timidly.  
  
"I'm sorry. I've been a bitch." Nicole blurted out in apology.  
  
"No! It's not your fault! I've been going through stuff and.." Buffy began.  
  
Nicole shook her head. "I should have tried harder to help!" She smiled hopefully. "Are we cool?"  
  
Buffy nodded happily. "We're cool."  
  
Xander grinned. "There's nothing like watching to girls bond. Although Spike would be hoping for bondage instead.."  
  
Nicole frowned suddenly. "We have to go shopping now if you want a dress."  
  
"I know!"  
  
"I'll pick you up at-" Xander tried to say. "Wait.. I have no car.."  
  
"No problem." Nicole interrupted. "She'll ride with me and meet you here."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Mhm. See you." Nicole said and dragged Buffy away. "We need to find a ride to the mall though. No car privileges until the dance." She rolled her eyes. "Get 50 parking tickets and suddenly you're Satan."  
  
Buffy waved to Xander as she and Nicole began their search. "I'll see you later Xander!"  
  
_____________  
  
"How did we get roped in to this?" Spike asked  
  
Scarlet shrugged. "Hell if I know." She waved a hand towards Buffy and Nicole who were lost in conversation. "Doing a good deed?"  
  
"I'm helping the damn slayer shop!" The vampire moaned. "I can't believe I've sunk so low!"  
  
"My poor little Spike." Scarlet cooed. "I'll reward you tomorrow night if you behave."  
  
Spike pulled Scarlet closer with a wicked grin. "Why not reward me now?"  
  
"Hey, Buffy!" Scarlet called out. "Spike an I will meet you at the car a nine!"  
  
Buffy waved the couple away distractedly. "Okay. Later!"  
  
Nicole and Buffy's arms were already full of bags from their rigorous journey. Pausing in front of a fountain the girls continued their chattering.  
  
"So you weren't dating Xander?"  
  
"No. But now I guess I am."  
  
Nicole squealed. "You like him!"  
  
Buffy nodded her head slowly. "Yeah. I do. He's sweet. He's funny."  
  
"He's cute."  
  
"Nic!"  
  
"Well he is!" Nicole said. Her tone turned serious. "Buffy, what else is going on?"  
  
"I can't really say." Buffy replied and sat down at the edge of the fountain. "It's complicated."  
  
Nicole sat beside her and placed her bags on the floor. "Tell me."  
  
Buffy sighed and told Nicole about her new 'destiny'. When she was finished Nicole's mouth was open in shock.  
  
"You're serious."  
  
"Of course I am, Nicole! Would I joke about this?"  
  
"No." Nicole ran a well-manicured hand through her hair. "So, Buffy Summers is a vampire slayer. Whoa. Who'd have thought?"  
  
"So you believe me?" Buffy asked hopefully.  
  
"Does the word duh mean anything?" Nicole said with a grin. She glanced at her watch and groaned. "Ugh. We have only an hour and a half. We better finish up."  
  
The girls picked up their bags and got to their feet. Buffy motioned to a nearby shoe store. "I still need shoes."  
  
"How about those light blue ones with the.."  
  
Their voices trailed off and a very pale guy with dark hair and a hawkish nose exited a small photo booth. He lips curled in disgust. "Buffy."  
  
As he hurried off, a strip of photos dropped into the slot.  
  
There was no one in them. 


	12. Don't You Wish All School Dances Were Li...

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet and Simon are all MINE.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 11  
  
Lila was not enjoying her day. She found herself busted by Simon, one of the council from her home world. Unfortunetly it didn't get much better after that. She was now stuck in a McDonalds sitting in silence across from him. The only good thing about it in her mind was the fact that Simon was such a cutie.  
  
Simon stared at Lila from behind his cup of coffee. He set it down on the table and leaned back. "Lila. You realize you used your abilities on a normal human being."  
  
"I know.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm! It was just for fun!"  
  
"Do you have any idea how it could have affected him?"  
  
Lila's face clouded with confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You could have caused him permanent damage." Simon stole one of Lila's fries, "For example if he mimicked a demon, who could gain the characteristics of a demon forever. Just like how you gained your.. clumsiness from too much Sailor Moon mimicking."  
  
"Um.. he mimicked Spiderman. Does that mean.."  
  
"It's a possibility."  
  
"What's my punishment?"  
  
Simon took a sip of his coffee, "Isn't it punishment enough that you're sitting here with me?"  
  
A blush crept up Lila's face. "It's not punishment! It's just.. Um.. Hoo boy." Changing the subject, Lila snatched one of Simons's cookies. "So how long till we find out if Xander is affected?"  
  
"I'm not sure. We have to wait and see. I assume he's going to that dance I've seen posters for at Hemery?"  
  
"Probably." Lila shrugged, "If Buffy's there, he will be."  
  
"Then we just have to keep an eye on him."  
  
"Oh come on!" Lila said. "There's no way you'll get away with being there. You look too college bound."  
  
"I can if I'm someone's date." Simon said with a sly grin.  
  
Lila dropped her lemonade in surprise. She jumped as it spilled all over the table. "Damn it!"  
  
Simon handed her some napkins. "You might want to clean up."  
  
_________________  
  
It was Saturday night and by the time Buffy and Nicole got to the dance it was already underway.  
  
Streamers fluttered everywhere, and there were tables set up along the windows. A deejay toyed with the sound system as couples danced and chatted. Everyone was dressed conspicuously different - very elegant and hip - rather than the average outfits seen everyday.  
  
Buffy's gaze scanned the room for Xander. Instead she spotted Kimberly, wearing a silk and lace black dress, standing by the punch bowl and talking to Andy. Scarlet and Spike were close in a far off corner doing god knows what. And Lila was talking with a living, breathing masterpiece of a guy.  
  
As Buffy walked into the gym in her short, light blue dress, she felt a surge of panic in her throat. She tugged at one of the flared cuffs of her dress, "I don't think I can do this."  
  
Nicole, looking smashing in a slinky green dress, squeezed her friend's hand. "If you can take on the solarly challenged, you can handle this."  
  
Buffy nodded and clutching her matching purse tightly, she started towards the punch bowl. Andy spotted her coming and waved.  
  
"Buffy! Looking tasty!"  
  
"Thanks." She said nervously, "Have you seen Xander?"  
  
Andy waved around the gym, "I saw him somewhere." A petite blonde pulled Andy to the dance floor before he could continue, "I'll see you later, Buffy!"  
  
Buffy waved slightly and helped herself to some punch. She held out a cup for Nicole. "Here."  
  
"Thanks." Nicole said.  
  
Kimberly strolled over to them. "Nicole, what are you doing with her?"  
  
"I'm hanging out with my best friend. Duh." Nicole retorted. "But you wouldn't know anything about tha-"  
  
"Please." Kimberly snapped. She looked Buffy's dress over, "Nice. It's amazing what you can get a K-Mart these days."  
  
"You'd know wouldn't you?" Buffy said pleasantly. "Cheap is your specialty." She heard Nicole stifle a giggle and turned away feeling smug. Her smugness vanished when Jeffery appeared with Jen at his arm.  
  
Jeffery looked uncomfortable at the sight of Buffy, and Jennifer seemed to have lost her power trip from the other day, and was practically apoplectic with embarrassment. Kimberly was giggling behind her as if the situation was funny.  
  
"Buffy," Jeffery finally spoke up. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"It's a dance and I have date." Buffy answered, trying to peer over Jeffery's shoulder. She sighed, "And you?"  
  
"I'm here with Jenny." Jeffery scowled. "What guy?"  
  
"With Xander." Buffy explained happily.  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
"Yes I can. Oh, I got your little message." Buffy set her cup down on the table, "Didn't have the guts to break up with me in person?"  
  
"You weren't home." He said defensivly. Jeffery's tone was self-righteous now. "Like always."  
  
Buffy shrugged, "I have better things to do then waste time on a self involved, heartless, weasel like yourself." She pushed past him and walked away with out another word.  
  
Nicole didn't even bother hiding the grin across her face. She stumbled slightly while walking away and spilled her punch on Kimberly's dress. Nicole feigned a look of shock.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry. I'm sure it'll come right out." She shoved the cup into Kimberly's hand. "Ciao."  
  
____________  
  
Buffy walked over to the bleachers and stopped short. Standing on the bleachers was a decked out Xander. Instead of a tuxedo like every other guy, he wore a pair of worn but nice tuxedo pants, a dark blue dress shirt and the leather jacket Lila picked out. His face broke into a friendly grin when he spotted Buffy. He bounded to the floor and stopped right in front of her.  
  
"Wow." Xander gasped. "You look fantastic."  
  
"Thanks." Buffy replied shyly. She ran pointed at his jacket. "I still love that."  
  
Xander rolled his eyes jokingly. "This old thing? Actually I was going to wear a tux, but Spike and Scarlet wouldn't let me in the car without wearing something leather."  
  
Buffy giggled, and Xander reached into his pocket and pulled out..  
  
A Twinkie.  
  
"The choice sugary treat." Buffy said and beamed.  
  
Xander's grin grew bigger, "Want to dance?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
Taking her into his arms, Xander began to lead slowly. They danced for a few moments with out saying a word.  
  
"I'm glad you agreed to go.. I-"  
  
Buffy cut him off, "When are you going to just kiss me, Xander?"  
  
"I can't refuse you." Xander said and obliged.  
  
______________  
  
Lila straightened her oriental style dress as she watched Xander and Buffy wistfully. "God those two are so cute together."  
  
"Lila, we're here to observe Xander, not watch romance unfold." Simon said.  
  
"Oh come on! They look so cute!" Lila insisted. "Loosen up!"  
  
Simon was no longer paying attention and his gaze was focused on one of the windows. "Lila."  
  
"Oh. Yay."  
  
____________  
  
Xander broke away from Buffy suddenly. "What the.."  
  
"Xander? What's wrong?" Buffy asked worriedly.  
  
"Something's wrong."  
  
Buffy stared at him and felt her slayer instincts kick in. "You're right."  
  
The sound of a window breaking, a shriek, some bright flashes, and all hell broke loose.  
  
_______________  
  
"Damn it, pet! You almost blinded me!" Spike cried out.  
  
Scarlet admired her simple out fit of red leather pants and a black crop top. "Sorry Spike. But I can't fight without at least a little power."  
  
"And what are you tonight?" Spike asked as they ran toward a window.  
  
"Faith."  
  
Spike groaned.  
  
_______________  
  
More windows shattered and glass sprayed across the gym. Vampires began swarming around the building and grinning hungrily. A few students ran for the inner door, only to find it locked from the other side. The noise and music faded as the crowd started to realize something was wrong. Kids headed toward the middle of the room in confusion and fear.  
  
Xander and Buffy looked around, assessing the situation.  
  
A student staggered in through the other door, screaming and holding his neck.  
  
"They're out there! They're vampires! Somebody help me!"  
  
He fell to the ground, a few feet from the doorway. The entire gym was dead quiet and no one moved. Then one of the students started for the body.  
  
"Don't go near the door," Buffy warned him.  
  
Instead, Buffy and Xander ran over to check the prone body. They were quickly joined by Lila, Spike, Scarlet and Nicole. Buffy took a deep breath and shook her head sadly.  
  
"Buff.." Xander said slowly. He pointed to the doorway, which was now filled with vampires.  
  
"Stay away from the windows and doors!" Buffy cried out. "They can't come in unless invited!"  
  
"I already invited them." Kimberly said.  
  
Every face in the room turned to stare at her. Kimberly shrank under their accusing stares and added defensivly, "They're seniors!"  
  
Nicole rolled her eyes. "Moron."  
  
Xander reached into is jacket and pulled out a couple of stakes. He handed one to Buffy and waved at Lila. "There's a duffel bag near the bleachers with more supplies."  
  
Lila nodded. "Fetch girl to the rescue."  
  
Lila ran off and Buffy started to bark orders. "The first thing we should-"  
  
"Buffy, you wanna dance?" the first vampire drooled.  
  
"Looks like everyone knows you." Nicole said to her.  
  
The second vampire crowded the door, her eyes gleaming. "We want her! We want Buffy! Send her out!"  
  
"Or we come in." The first vampire promised.  
  
They faded back, almost disappearing. Spike looked out the window, full of energy. He grinned in anticipation as he spotted more vampires looming nearby. "C'mon. When do we get to party?"  
  
Scarlet patted his arm reassuringly. "Soon. Lila's back!"  
  
Lila came running back carrying not one, but two duffel bags. She tossed one to Xander and then tossed the other to the floor. "Mine." She explained with a shrug.  
  
"All right everyone. Stay calm." Gary Murray held up his hands for quiet and focused his attention on Buffy. "What's going on?"  
  
Xander pulled out a crossbow from his bag and loaded it up. "This looks pretty bad, Buffy."  
  
One of the girls spoke up, "Send her out!"  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"They'll kill us!" Kimberly agreed. "She's the one they want!"  
  
"Yeah!" A boy echoed, "Send her out!"  
  
"Everybody quiet!" Gary Murray tried to keep order.  
  
"What? Are you kidding? They'll kill her!" Andy burst out, appalled.  
  
"They'll kill us!" Kimberly reminded him.  
  
"We are not sending her out there!" Xander bellowed.  
  
Nicole nodded her head. "You really think they'll just leave? Hello? They eat people!"  
  
"And this place is a bloody buffet." Spike added with a grin.  
  
The crowd began arguing, most clamoring to sacrifice Buffy. Buffy ignored them all and began rifling through the bags. Lila kneeled down next to her.  
  
"You're going out there aren't you."  
  
"Of course." Buffy said, stuffing her purse with stakes. "I'm the slayer. It's what I do."  
  
"Good. Kick some ass." Lila said with a nod of approval.  
  
Buffy stared at her. "Don't let Xander get hurt."  
  
"Not going to be a problem." Lila said.  
  
A couple of the boys came threateningly close to Buffy. Andy quickly intervened, and Xander aimed his crossbow at them. When the crowd refused to quiet down a loud gunshot filled the room.  
  
Everyone shut up to see Lila holding a 9mm pointed at the ceiling.  
  
"Shut up!" She aimed he weapon at the teenagers. "One more hysterical cry or threat towards us, and I start putting bullets in your heads." There was a soft thud as someone fainted at the thought and Lila sighed inwardly in relief as everyone quieted.  
  
With everyone silent, Buffy stood up and began heading for the front doors. Xander grabbed hold of her arm. "Buffy.."  
  
"I'll be okay." She said. Buffy saw the look on his face and rushed on. "I need you to help everyone in here. We both know they aren't going to just leave everyone alone." She pulled him close for a kiss.  
  
She stepped away from him a moment later with a small wistful sigh. "Be careful. Please?"  
  
Xander nodded slowly then removed his jacket. "Might get cold."  
  
Buffy smiled and put on the jacket. With a deep breathe and one last look at Xander she went out the door. 


	13. Every Story Needs A Finale

Troublemakers: Slaying Bites  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet & Simon are MINE.  
  
_____________  
  
PART 12  
  
A mist had risen around the gym, swirling around the feet of the undead that stood clustered at the door. There were at least twenty of them now, with hungry looks of longing and bloodlust across their faces. They watched as Buffy exited the building.. and they waited.  
  
The vampires watched as Buffy came out in the open, Xander's jacket over her dress and her purse strapped around her. She carried a bottle of Perrier in one hand and a cross in the other. As she stepped farther away from the door, the vampires began to close around her.  
  
She heard the door shut behind her.  
  
The vampires surrounded her, coming closer and closer. Buffy held the cross out in front of her. As they loomed closer, she shook the bottle and sprayed it all around, searing the first line of vampires.  
  
Tossing the bottle, Buffy whipped out a stake. In a blur of martial arts and gymnastics, Buffy held her own and managed to take out a few vampires. The vampires scattered and the slayer made a run for it.  
  
___________________  
  
From inside the gym everyone watched from the windows.  
  
"It's okay!" Kimberly cried out. "They're going after her!"  
  
As if on cue, several of the vampires turned toward the gym, grinning.  
  
Xander looked at Kimberly. "Look, your fan club."  
  
"Get away from the windows!" Gary Murray ordered. "Find something to cover them up with!"  
  
Immediately, the students began grabbing whatever they could.  
  
Nicole looked around anxiously, "Hey! There's nails and stuff we used for the decorations!"  
  
"Go get them." Xander said. He shook his head and tried to ignore a sudden wave of dizziness.  
  
_____________  
  
"I need some sugar." Lila moaned.  
  
Simon glared at her. "Stop complaining and watch Xander."  
  
"No!" Lila snapped. "I'm going to fight. If you want to stand around and play watch dog, fine."  
  
"You do realize you can't interfere too much here." Simon pointed out. "People are meant to die."  
  
"Do I care about what I can't or can't do?"  
  
"Abuse your powers while I'm here, and I'll take you back before you can blink."  
  
Lila glared at him irritably. "You are such a jerk."  
  
"And you really are a pain in the ass."  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"Save the offers for the vampires, Lila." Scarlet said as she and Spike ran by.  
  
Spike paused in front of her, "I'll take you up on that."  
  
Lila sighed and pointed her gun at him. "Don't make me shoot you."  
  
"Guys! Stop bickering and help out!" Xander cried out in annoyance.  
  
"They started it." Lila muttered and ran over to help Xander.  
  
_______________  
  
Buffy raced across campus now, the undead close at her heels. Running as fast as she could to a nearby cluster of buildings, she passed a line of parked cars and recognized Jeffery's BMW at one end. She sped by it but she could recognize the voices in there. Out of morbid curiosity she paused and peered into the steamed up windows.  
  
"Geez. Already?" She muttered. "Don't waste any time.. oops."  
  
Glancing up again, she saw the vampires closer than ever, and she took off with the horde behind her.  
  
_______________  
  
"Stake him in the heart!" Scarlet cried out. She kicked an oncoming vampire and watched him stumble back and onto Nicole's make shift stake.  
  
The gym had broken into chaos within a few seconds. Students screamed and ran around trying to save themselves. Already there were several dead bodies and piles of ash on the floor.  
  
Xander watched in mild horror, and wishing that they were more organized like at graduation. *Which.. hasn't happened yet. Oh geez this time stuff is confusing.* He thought. Suddenly he felt a strange almost buzzing feeling in his head. He dove down and looked up to see a vampire grabbing at the air where he had just stood.  
  
With a small feeling of elation, Xander realized why his mind wouldn't stop reeling that night. He hit the vampire with an uppercut and watched him fly back a few feet. Whipping out the cross bow, Xander fired and the vampire was gone.  
  
His senses screamed at him again and he spun around in time to see another vampire behind him. Before he moved, there was a gunshot and the vampire began to spasm and then exploded into dust.  
  
"What the hell? What kind of ammo are you using?" Xander asked as Lila ran over.  
  
"Silver hollow points, the ends filled with holy water and mercury." Lila answered. She aimed over Xander's shoulder and fired again. "Would you believe I'm having fun?"  
  
"You are one disturbing lady." Xander said. He spun around and drove a stake into an oncoming vampire.  
  
Lila, still firing at vampires, asked, "Enjoying the new spidey sense?"  
  
"You knew?" He asked as he reloaded his crossbow.  
  
"Not till Simon showed up."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Date." She explained. Lila pointed to a bored looking, sword-wielding aristocrat across the gym. "The one dressed like Alucard from Castlevania. Any other spidey effects?"  
  
Xander leapt at a vampire attacking Andy and threw the creature across the room.  
  
Lila's eyes widened. "Um. I guess so."  
  
________________  
  
"God this is fun!" Spike laughed as he staked another vampire. He looked around for a new victim and came face to face with..  
  
Himself.  
  
"Bloody hell." Spike muttered.  
  
The second Spike stared at him, "You.."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm you."  
  
"You're helping these sheep?"  
  
"Long story mate. Things can't be avoided."  
  
"But.."  
  
"I'd love to explain, but if I tried," Spike pointed to Scarlet who was fending off three vampires with the help of Nicole, "That red haired cutie would have a fit."  
  
"And I care how?"  
  
"Just get out of here, mate. This place is going to burn and I'd prefer it if we didn't burn with it."  
  
With that, Spike grabbed his younger self and threw him out the nearest window. "Sorry mate." He said and backhanded a vampire running by.  
  
__________  
  
As Buffy approached the building nearest to the gym, she could still hear the vampires behind her.  
  
"For dead people they sure make a ton of noise." She muttered as she reached the door.  
  
It was locked.  
  
With a groan she slammed into it with her shoulder and broke through. She ran inside, her footsteps echoing the empty halls.  
  
The vampires paused at the door wanting to follow, but a figure appeared in front of them.  
  
Amilyn raised a finger to his lips.  
  
"Shhh."  
  
____________  
  
"I found a way out!"  
  
Xander looked up to see Nicole near a locker room door. "What?"  
  
"There's an old set of doors which are boarded up in here!" Nicole explained.  
  
"Spike! Scarlet!" Xander yelled. "Follow Nicole!"  
  
Gary Murray began bustling students toward the old locker room. "Single file people! This isn't a drill!"  
  
The students began running for the newly found exit as Xander and Lila covered the escape.  
  
Lila chose that moment to trip over her duffel bag. The vampires leapt for her and she grabbed the bag and barely made it away from them.  
  
Ripping the bag open, Lila pulled out another play toy.  
  
A mini uzi.  
  
Xander's jaw dropped. "Lila.."  
  
Lila gritted her teeth, "Down."  
  
The sound of the weapon bounced off the walls and mixed with the shrieks of the undead.  
  
_______________  
  
Buffy reached a dead end.  
  
She had managed to trap herself into a science lab. She held her stake tightly as she moved cautiously into the room.  
  
No more than five feet into the room did Amilyn come crashing in from behind her. The two tumbled to the floor and Buffy groaned as her stake slid across the floor.  
  
Amilyn stood up and laughed. He advanced toward her. "Hello kitten! Pleased to meet you! Care to guess my" -he kicked her violently- "name?"  
  
Buffy glared at him and looked defiant despite the pain. "Would it be Stumpy?"  
  
Amilyn frowned and glanced at his missing arm. He kicked her again. "WRONG!"  
  
"Lefty?" Buffy retorted.  
  
"You're a fool blood bag!" Amilyn sneered and grabbed Buffy by the neck. He pinned her against the wall. "And you'll die a fool!"  
  
Buffy swung her knee up in reply and Amilyn dropped her as he fell to the floor in pain.  
  
"I'm a fool who fights dirty." She said and slammed her foot into his chest. He screamed and a moment later he was nothing but ash.  
  
"God I love these heels." Buffy grinned.  
  
"Bravo."  
  
Buffy spun around to see Lothos standing in the doorway clapping slowly. She swallowed slowly and reacted.  
  
She dove out the window.  
  
___________  
  
"Xander! A little hand here!"  
  
Xander punched another vampire and ran over to Lila. "Everyone's gone. Out of ammo?"  
  
Lila tossed the gun at a vampire who got to close. "No. I just like throwing loaded weapons at the undead for sport."  
  
"We're screwed aren't we."  
  
"You have a stake. I have.. me." Lila said. She frowned. "We are totally screwed."  
  
"Then change!!"  
  
Lila glanced at the hungry vampires around them. She briefly considered it, but knew the moment she did, she'd be gone and Xander would be cannon fodder. She sighed. "Do you think they'd really wait for me to transform?"  
  
_______________  
  
Buffy found herself running again. This time back towards the gym. It was quiet now and not a vampire was in sight. A gust of wind blew old papers and trash around her and she stopped.  
  
Lothos stood in front of her.  
  
"You've been dreaming of me child." Lothos said. "You're destined to feed me."  
  
"I don't suppose a nice order of fries would make you happy?" Buffy joked nervously.  
  
"You don't understand,do you child. I've killed dozens of slayers. You're life is not a blink of an eye, not a single breath."  
  
Buffy stared at him, entranced by his gaze.  
  
"I have lived in the shadows, in the pulsing filth behind men's eyes." Lothos continued. "I have conversed with the worms that fed on my corpse and I have bathed in the blood of emperors."  
  
"Oh I'm sure that made an impression on the ladies." Buffy snapped at him. "No wonder you're so hard up for a date."  
  
Lothos's eyes widened in shock. "What? No.. No one has ever resisted before!"  
  
"Like Merrick always said," Buffy replied and pulled out her cross. She held it in front of her, "I'm not like other girls."  
  
"This? This is your only weapon? Your puny faith?" Lothos sneered and grasped the cross and it burst into flames.  
  
"No." Buffy smirked and pulled her hairspray from her purse. She pressed the button down. "My keen fashion sense."  
  
Lothos screamed as flames enveloped him. "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Reaching in her purse again, Buffy pulled a small object out and slammed it into Lothos's heart. "For Merrick. And for me."  
  
A breeze scattered the remains of the vampire lord and a small number two pencil clattered to the pavement.  
  
___________  
  
"Will you die already?!!" Lila screeched as she flipped a vampire onto an upturned table. She held it down and grabbed a chopstick from her hair. She drove it into his heart just as another vampire grabbed her from behind. "ACK!!"  
  
The vampire dropped her suddenly as he felt the searing pain of a cross to his back.  
  
"This is the suckiest dance I've ever been to!" Buffy quipped and sprayed her hairspray at him. The vampire burst into flames and Buffy grabbed his arm. "Sorry. I've been having these problems with vampires lately. My therapist is helping me deal."  
  
"BUFFY!" Xander yelled happily. "We thought we were done for!"  
  
Lila shrieked as another vampire grabbed for her. "We still might be."  
  
"No we aren't." Buffy said and tossed the flaming vampire at the others, starting a chain reaction of vampires bursting into flames. "They just haven't noticed yet. She motioned towards the front doors. "Come on."  
  
___________________  
  
"The death toll now reaches twelve-and-a-half in the Hemery High School. A dance was being held here in the gym five days ago, when students were attacked by a gang of crack-crazed gunmen."  
  
"Survivors say at least one hundred of the ruffians laid siege to the school, claiming several lives in the process. Said one school administrator, 'Things will never be the same'."  
  
Buffy clicked off the television and tossed the remote to the table. "This sucks." She said and curled closer to Xander on the couch. "We save the school and I get expelled."  
  
"Well so did I!" Xander complained. "My parents were so mad that we're moving back to Sunnydale."  
  
"NO!!!" Buffy cried out. "But.. you won't be here!"  
  
Xander kissed her lightly on lips, "Trust me Buff. You'll be seeing Sunnydale much too soon."  
  
"You two make me sick." Spike glowered from his spot on floor. "All you two have been doing is giving those looks at each other ever since Saturday."  
  
"You're just mad that Scarlet vanished after the battle." Xander said.  
  
"Damn straight I am!" Spike huffed. "I need a drink."  
  
The front door swung open and Scarlet bounced into the house followed by Nicole.  
  
"Spike!!!" Scarlet squealed and pounced onto the vampire, pinning him to the ground. "Did my boy toy miss me?"  
  
"No."  
  
Scarlet pouted, "Admit it. You missed me." She whispered something in his ear and Spike's eyes lit up.  
  
"Erm.. we have to go mate." Spike said and got to his feet. He dragged Scarlet off and out the door.  
  
Nicole sat herself in an armchair. "I need such a vacation."  
  
"My parents offered to send me to the Bahamas." Buffy said.  
  
"No way!"  
  
"I'm not going."  
  
Nicole gasped, "No! You should totally go!"  
  
"No, my parents offered only because they don't want me around while they up and get divorced." Buffy shrugged, "Besides, I want to spend time with Xander while I can."  
  
Buffy looked up to see Xander snoring softly. She sighed exasperatedly. "Men."  
  
Nicole giggled, "Such babies!"  
  
"I know." Buffy replied with a smile. She poked Xander in the chest lightly, "Xander. Wake up. Xander.."  
  
______________  
  
Xander woke up with a start. "Buffy?" He sat up and realized he was in his basement back in Sunnydale. He let out a scream of discouragement. "You have to be kidding me!"  
  
"Who does?"  
  
Looking up, Xander saw Buffy standing at the bottom of the stairs carrying a tray of popcorn and cookies. "Your mom said you had drinks down here."  
  
"Um.. yeah. In the fridge." He said.  
  
Buffy set the tray on the table and looked him funny, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Not really. I had one of those dreams that seemed so real but then you wake up.. and it's not."  
  
"Oh really?" Buffy said, "Want to tell me about it?"  
  
"Not really. I just hate those things."  
  
Buffy nodded in under standing and changed the subject. "Oh yeah! We're still on for Saturday, right?"  
  
Confusion clouded Xander's face. "What's Saturday?"  
  
Frowning, Buffy crossed her arms across her chest. "It's our anniversary. I can't believe you forgot!"  
  
"I didn't forget!" Xander denied, "I just.. I'm confused. Are we dating?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Lila said you'd be confused today. I didn't know she meant this much." She took a deep breath and slid onto the bed next to Xander. Placing her hands on his face she pulled him close for a soft kiss.  
  
Releasing Xander she smiled softly. "Lila told me that you'd be all disoriented from the whole memories colliding thing. And no. We aren't dating anymore."  
  
Xander managed to let out a confused, "We aren't?"  
  
"No. We're engaged."  
  
Buffy didn't have time to react as Xander fainted. 


End file.
